Self-Made Mom

The Limbo Rock

by selfmademom on August 30, 2010 · 5 comments

Remember the six month itch I had a couple years back? Well, it’s back, but it’s for real this time and it could be called the My Baby’s Going to Be One Soon and I’m Starting to Freak Out About Having a Career Again Itch.

Or, as I’ll refer it to, The Limbo Rock. (Also, that’s a lot shorter).

I’m in limbo here, people.

I’m craving work. Like real, paid work. Yet, I don’t want to give up some of the flexibility I have by being home with my children.

I’m so torn. Many of my friends whose kids are older tell me to cherish my baby. And so I’m doing that. But they are also the ones who’ve managed to carve nice, flexible careers. And, they somehow managed to do it when their children were young.

So I feel like now’s the time. The baby is almost a year. (I know this isn’t “old,” but it’s not like newborn madness.) I have that ITCH. I want to do more.

But I want the cuddles when I want them. I want to be able to pick up my son from school and his activities. I want to be there for bedtime.

Do I give that up for a taste of an office? A meeting? A *gasp* paycheck?

I’m partly sure I do.

But, there’s the part of me that is worried once I get under that limbo stick I’ll fail and fall down.

I’m doing the Limbo Rock.

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A Follow Up to the Blow Up

by selfmademom on August 26, 2010 · 7 comments

I don’t want to belabor “the post” or the topic. I’m tired!

But my head, twitter stream, email box have been filled these past few days with the major #fail by Toys “R” Us and Lead Dog Marketing with the pitch heard ’round the world (which, should be noted, the microsite related to the pitch is currently “under maintenance.”)

I don’t want to belabor “the post.”

I will, however, take this opportunity to make some additional comments on “The Situation” as it stands now. Also, because Kim’s a yenta and she asked.

The big question. No. I haven’t heard from any representative of Toys “R” Us or their agency Lead Dog Marketing. I can’t say I’m all that surprised, actually. What did I expect? I assume that they’ve seen the twitter streams. I mean, the infamous microsite is “under maintenance” now. Something’s up. But, I didn’t think hat they’d actually respond to the twitter streams. Clearly, there is a disconnect between client/ agent and really, I wouldn’t want to be involved in those conversations now. I didn’t want or expect any sort of apology or acceptance of wrongdoing over email. I don’t need that. But, I would have liked a response from someone, anyone related to this to at least have sent out some sort of communication to my twitter friends and/or I something like, “we heard you, we understand your concerns, and we’re having internal conversations/ working on it/ doing some shots to think better about it.” Just something simple. But, as of 9 pm on this Thursday night, radio silence.

What I would do if I were running the “I Want to Be a Toys R Us Mom” Campaign right now. Because I do think at the core it’s a great idea. And, the tagline is catchy. First, I’d send out an email to those who’ve been pitched, or, at the very least, those that have been vocal in tweeting about the campaign that those voices have been heard. I’d then spend time culling the contact list of bloggers and web site owners to ensure that the right targets are being targeted (i.e. I delete those who asked to be deleted!) And I would stop calling them/ us “mom promoters.” Because we aren’t at a night club, people. I’d rethink the fundamentals of the campaign. TRU wants community and local outreach? Host company-sponsored events at the local stores but don’t ask bloggers to make “in store” appearances, as if they’re Geoffrey the Giraffe. Invite them as VIPs. Take them on a behind-the-scenes tour of the revamped store. Let them test out merchandise. Do a giveaway but don’t make the bloggers do it. Treat them like you’d treat a reporter who was covering the retail industry. Make them want to write about you, not “promote” you. We all know your main goal is to get people in your stores, but one of the fundamentals of PR is third-party advocacy, and nowadays there’s no better way to get people in your stores than word of mouth. Let it happen organically. TRU wants a banner ad online campaign component to complement the in store events? Pony up the dollars and pay for it. PR can work more organically, but you gotta pay for banner ads.
(Edited to add: It occurred to me in the middle of the night – of course – if TRU/ agency wants a “microsite” so badly, why not host that on the TRU.com site? Then, select an exclusive number of “TRU Moms” to help with the online campaign. TRU moms can contribute to the microsite, review new products/ stores, comment on likes/ disklikes of toys, etc. If Wal-Mart can do it, so can they!)

I need to apologize. I was talking to my husband this week who rarely makes appearances or mentions on this blog (other than my best one-liner from the last post) about the attention this one post got on my itty-bitty blog. He’s my best critic and biggest fan really, even though he keeps a low profile. (Just ask Cynthia about that.) He thought I could have made the point about the agency’s blogger relations outreach #fail without laying into Emily and Lindsay so much. I do not regret “naming names” because those two were the “face” of the campaign and outreach, but I do regret making their names so central to the point. The point that as a marketer you must understand your audience and what you are asking for and be smart about your plan. I made plenty of mistakes as a junior-level account exec. But there was no blogosphere then to call it out. Taking a step back after a few days, I’m sorry I didn’t generalize it just a little bit more.

I want to figure out where we all (me included) go from here. I’ve felt this way about blogger/ brand/ agency relations since I started blogging 4 years ago. But this is the first time I’ve been able to articulate it properly and in the right context. I’ve gotten so much support from so many amazing bloggers and friends from this post that it’s very inspiring to do something and make something of that voice I have. So we’ll see about that. But I also want to figure out how to make this better without having the same conversation over and over again. Because as I said in the post, neither sides are all right or all wrong. In five more years of blogging (my husband says “oy”), I don’t want tweets to say, “PR people don’t get it” or “I can’t believe someone asked me to do a sponsorship without payment” or “I hate PR people.” I’m not entirely sure how we’re all going to get there, but it will probably have a lot to do with attending awesome conferences and the kind of grass-roots education my post and others provide. Maybe I’ll even attend one one of these days.

And, with that, I’m going to attend to my other “Situation.” Testing out the best jeggings.

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The post about Predatory PR I’ve been waiting to write

by selfmademom on August 24, 2010 · 60 comments

In June, I wrote a lame-ass blog post where I alluded to a PR pitch I received that was g-d freaking awful and made me want to crawl through the computer and shake silly the account person at the marketing agency who sent it. I was tired then, and could only allude to the awfulness.

No more.

Because isn’t it ironic that today, while sitting with my friends in attendance at the wonderful Windy City Social Media Masters Summit, where we were learning about how large companies like General Motors, Con Agra, Kenmore and Edelman (a former employer) are handling social media outreach in the RIGHT way, I got another bad pitch by another grunt from the same marketing agency on behalf of a very large company who is doing it ALL WRONG? (The person at the agency, that is.)

I thought so. I’m using names now.

Someone named Emily (who apparently replaced Lindsay the old account person) from Lead Dog Marketing sent me, and apparently, the rest of the momosphere, a PR pitch today on behalf of Toys R Us to join their “I Want To Be A Toys R Us Mom” awareness campaign for the newly combined Toys R Us and Babies R Us megastores (There’s one down the street from me. I love it. Isn’t that ironic too? I also worked on the Toys R Us Account for Edelman back in 2004 so I know the company well. At least the old company.)

The email said in part (paraphrasing):

“As we celebrate each grand opening, we are looking for community and online partners to help spread the word so that local area families can take advantage of grand opening savings and fun. Because your blog/website reaches moms and Chicago-area residents, we’d like to extend an invitation for you to be our promotional partner during the Toys“R”Us grand opening celebration …

Ok, fine… then the kicker:

As our partner, you have the opportunity to be involved in raising awareness for our “I Want to be a Toys“R”Us Mom” campaign. This viral campaign encourages local moms to visit our microsite, iwanttobeatoysrusmom.com to download a ‘secret coupon’ and bring it to the store during the grand opening weekend to reveal their shopping discount; up to 50% off one item! And if that is not enough, the first 100 Moms to arrive at each Grand Opening will receive a special ‘Toys“R”Us Moms’ gift bag bursting with gifts and offers.

We are seeking your partnership to help drive local moms to the iwanttobeatoysrusmom.com microsite and create buzz about the grand opening, using tactics like email blasts/newsletters, social media posts, strategic banner ad placement and news or editorial features highlighting the grand opening weekend.

You will also enjoy benefits, such as logo placement and information about your blog/website on the webpage affiliated with your grand opening market on the iwanttobeatoysrusmom.com microsite, the opportunity for exposure at the grand opening celebration with on-site table presence, as well as free Toys“R”Us gift bags, give-a-ways and more.

We look forward to discussing this exciting opportunity with you in more detail. In the meantime, please see attached Partnership One Sheet for additional information.”

I was shocked. I not only rejected this pitch 3 months ago when I got it (so take me off your pitch list please), I have a fundamental issue with the approach and expectation of what the agency expected me as a blogger to do on behalf of her client Toys R Us. I’m calling it predatory PR. It’s a predatory practice when the PR agency who’s getting paid by a big time client asks YOU, the blogger to do what she’s getting PAID for (advertising/ marketing/ local PR/ social media) for free or for cheap. Liz already wrote about this once. But I’m saying it again.

This pitch and the ask of it is outrageous. I tried to be nice to Lindsay about it the first time around by telling her I only do giveaways/contests/banner ads if they’re in conjunction with a PAID advertisement. You PAY me, and I will help to PROMOTE you. It seems easy enough, right? She responded with this:

98% of our partners are on-board through barter, as it is added value to provide this incentive to their mommy viewers, members…We are offering incentives to mommy bloggers with huge reach in the millions. Can you send me your reach?

I think that your mommy viewers, followers, members will be quite happy if you tell them about a $100 value gift bag that will be given away for free! Our first city is in Colonie, NY and the moms are going nuts over it!

We’d be happy to feature you with your logo, a click through and 300 characters of copy on our micro-site. Just think how many moms will have access to that site!?!? We already have over 20 million impressions from our already on board partners.

Let me know if you’re interested in barter.

Thanks,

Lindsay

The only thing I’ve ever bartered for in my life is sex in exchange for my husband allowing me to watch “The Bachelorette” finale in his presence. But I digress.

Hmmm… so in exchange for a link and 300 chars on the crappy iwanttobeatoysrusmom.com microsite (which has a page rank of ZERO according to Liz so the 20mm impression numbers have GOT to be made up) you want me to post on my site, put up banner ads and host a giveaway? Back in June, I nicely said no, not for me, shoved my anger away, did a lame ass post and shut the hell up.

But now that they’re back, and apparently aren’t paying attention to their initial outreach, there must be a call to action. The promise of “links on a microsite,” “on-site exposure (which, if you read the fine line in the attachment is “limited”),” and giveaways are not enough. There might be some of you who find glamour (like a whopping 20 of you) in all of this. Maybe it’s exciting to be contacted by a big, brand-name company that has products you and your kids like. Maybe you just don’t know how lame and circa 1999 microsites are. Maybe you love, love doing giveaways and you accept any pitch that come your way.

I do not believe that in these brand/ blogger exchanges there is all right or all wrong on either side. I think Lindsay and Emily probably work for a good agency, but are unfortunately uneducated in the practice of social media outreach. They think their offering is good enough that if they spam pitch 20,000 mom bloggers some will stick and that’s good enough. I can’t imagine that they’re pleased that only 20 sites bit on their campaign. So they’re at it again. I also think it’s safe (hope) to say both Toys R Us and Babies R Us don’t have an inkling that this is going on underneath them.

I also think the problem lies with us. There are a lot of naive bloggers out there who just don’t have the PR experience that others and I do and who cannot see through the BS that is this campaign. For example, Akron Moms (I’m only picking this site because that’s the example Emily used in the email) got really excited about the promotion (back in June, mind you) and posted it on their site because they actually believe they are a “sponsor” of the Toys R Us Grand opening in Parma and Chapel Hill. Akron Mom, you weren’t a sponsor of anything. You are just a pawn in this bad pitch campaign.

And, poor Melissa. She participated too and all she got was a bag of crap samples, no links and a bunch of rude email exchanges. Michelle got zilch, she said. Shannan complained about the rudeness of Toys R Us’s agency. And there are many more stories.

That’s why I stayed up two hours past my bedtime to write all of this down. Because there are uneducated PR folks like Lindsay and Emily out there preying on either naive, too nice, or too willing bloggers with the promise and glory of links and badges. But that’s not enough anymore. It doesn’t cut it when there are real companies and real dollars paying real money elsewhere.

As Lucretia put it:

.@Mom101 @tothink @selfmademom @mommyinstincts @PBinmyhair – sadly, some still think giving away milk for free increases cow salesless than a minute ago via webLucretia M Pruitt
LucretiaPruitt

I think the bloggers expected the best from the company and agency but got let down instead. They got preyed on and it’s up to us well-educated bloggers to keep the conversation going to stop it from happening again. At least in this instance.

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Fall Mom Fashion Follow Up

by selfmademom on August 23, 2010 · 2 comments

Who knew that my back to school shopping guide for moms would hit such a nerve? People really came out of the woodwork to tell me they liked that post! So, after feeling such confidence from my picks online, I had to go test the waters in real life. Read: I did a little shopping.

With baby burrito in tow (my g-d he was an ANGEL!), two of my friends and I dragged strolled our little bundles of joy around the fabulous stores on Armitage Ave. this past Saturday to check out what is in for Fall. At least those stores that are still open. And, score! Score we did. Herewith: my key pieces for Fall 2010.

This 525 America leather trim riding jacket. I got it in black from Art Effect. Don’t laugh if you see me wearing it every day.

This desert boot by DV by Dolce Vita. I was debating the Clarks version, but they didn’t sell that at Lori’s.

And the Pièce de résistance — the Gap jeggings. In indigo wash. They’re already sold out online, but I got mine at the 1969 store on Rush. Better than J brand!

I’m still coveting:

These Sam Edelman shoes. I know they’re like the desert boots, but the wedge is for nighttime… right?

The Effie. They’re effing awesome. (Photo courtesy of Shoes.com – 15% off right now too!)

And…

This bag. OMG This. Bag.

A Marc by Marc Jacobs bag would make a nice accent piece, right? (photo courtesy of Shopbop.com)

What is your key Fall item! Do share! I know I will covet it, too.

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SMM Steals and Deals Update

by selfmademom on August 20, 2010 · 0 comments

I don’t like to post about sales and coupons too often, but I’m running two great promos on my Steals and Deals page that I think you all will like.

First, is a giveaway of a 14″ x 11″ personalized canvas by Hi There Press. There are hundreds of designs to choose from – all you have to do is upload your own photo and pick your preferred artwork and you will never have to look at another boring frame again. ($65 value too!) Just tell me in the comments where you’re gonna hang this sucker, and I’ll pick a winner on September 24. Plus, if you use the code HI20T38E, you will get 20% off your purchase the entire month of September! You cannot resist that!

Next, I have a great coupon code for the upcoming Disney on Ice Princesses show. Kind of ironic to be the mom of 2 boys posting about this, but the folks at Feld have been so nice to me over the years, I am happy to share the discount. And I’m sure the show will be great!

If you have a great local steal or deal for me, please feel free to send it to selfmademom(at)sbcglobal(dot)net.

But, beware, I am pretty picky.

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Back to School Shopping – For moms, of course

by selfmademom on August 15, 2010 · 5 comments

Seems like everyone is gearing up getting their kids ready for school with new clothing purchases and backpacks galore. But I’m protesting. Why? Because it’s not fair that only the kids should get the new stuff for Fall. I want back to school clothes for myself! The eldest is starting at a fancy new school and I’ve outfitted him plenty in comfy but cute Appaman tops, City Threads pants, Geox sneaks and Old Navy t-shirts. The baby gets his hand-me-downs.

As for me, because my eldest is starting at that aforementioned fancy new school, I figure I better look good, too, during school drop-off and pick-up. It also doesn’t help that I’m now completely under the hypo-fashion spell of Amy Tara Koch, to whom sweatpants are like kryptonite. She totally critiqued (in a good way) my mom outfit when I interviewed her last week for Chicago Parent and now I’m a woman obsessed with Bumping Up my mommy wardrobe. Last year, I reveled in my maternity lululemon challenge. It was fun and stretchy, but now that I’m back to my fighting weight I’ve got to up the ante. I’m screwed.

Thus, I’ve been obsessively scouring the internet for pieces that make me look something in between A Real Housewife, and well, a real housewife. Herewith, a list of my coveted items for Fall:

1) Dark grey or black jeggings (for your neophytes these are JEAN leggings): I didn’t quite understand the jegging craze last year, but now that I’ve seen them in action (and on me), I’m hooked. I’m debating between these two:

J Brand 901 Legging in Pitch (photo courtesy of J Brand)

And…

Gap Jean Legging but not in this hideous medium wash – it’s a dark grey, but it wouldn’t copy to my blog! (photo courtesy of Amazon)

2) Some sort of olive-colored cargo pant. I caved and got the J Brand ones in gray off eBay for this summer, but what I really want for Fall are these amazing looking stretchy cargo-cords from Current/ Elliott. It’s what Private Benjamin would wear after training camp. Or, me, after the gym.

Photo courtesy of Saks.com

And what else am I going to wear with all my new skinny pants other than ankle boots? Because nothing says the anti-sweat like some motorcycle boots:

Via Spiga Olga Boot (photo courtesy of Lori’s Shoes)

Or release my inner urban cowgirl with these:

Frye Carson Shortie (photo courtesy of Zappos, but FYI I found them cheaper on Endless!)

As for what’s on top, I’d rather splurge on pants and shoes that will last more than one season and buy some wear and tear tops from Zara, H&M, even Target (shhh). But I’m all about the long cardigan with the skinny pants and I’m loving the one I recently bought…

Open Front Cardigan by Splendid (photo courtesy of Nordstrom)

And if you really want to go all out, you’ll go out and buy yourself a military-inspired coat like I just saw in a Burberry ad in Vanity Fair. Amazingly, I had the foresight to buy a coat just like it a few years back by Marc by Marc Jacobs when I was more flush with cash. (Oh, weren’t we all!). Good knockoffs by Juicy, too.

My sad, old, but in style Marc by Marc Jacobs military coat. Needs a pressing. (photo courtesy of my crappy Blackberry)

So, what are y’all buying for Fall? Next up… accessories! And, watch for a fashion challenge come September. I vow to amp up my mommy wardrobe for 30 days straight! As soon as the heat drops and there’s no threat of my legs sticking together when I walk.

(BTW, this blog was NOT sponsored, but if anyone out there wants to throw in some free jeans, by all means.)

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Silent Blog Auction

August 10, 2010

I had to cancel my eBay auction, but Alma had a great idea to host a silent auction for the Embassy Suites American Girl Package. Bid in the comments, and I’ll match the value of the package to Alma’s favorite charity!! Remember when I auctioned off my BlogHer swag last year on eBay? I had [...]

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Chicago Not BlogHer Meetup a Success!

August 5, 2010

I’m always on the fence about BlogHer. I know it’s the hot place (literally, temps will soar into the 90s over the weekend in NYC, ouch!) to be every year, but I’ve attended it twice before in 07 and last year and, well, I never felt like I figured it out. So I opted out [...]

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On absurd displays of mommy/ baby behavior

July 31, 2010

Last week I was privvy to some ridiculous mommy and baby behavior. I’m usually not a judgmental mother. Really. But some mommy/ baby behavior needs to be called out. Like the mom who brought her baby and her nanny to the nail salon to … no joke … get her baby’s nails cut and buffed. [...]

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