I don’t do needy, clingy and whiny.  Unfortunately, my son doesn’t care. He’s 9 months now, and is being all of the above. This is the point in his life where all the “books” say that a baby can start to sense “object permanence.” Translation: my son goes loony if I’m not in his direct line of vision all the time – he’s having major ”separation anxiety” (I love buzzwords!)
This presents a problem for me. I’ve never been real good at having people rely on me for their every need and want. I’m good for a time, and then I want my space. Don’t get me wrong, I was tender and loving when my son was a little teeny infant. He didn’t know better then; he was so innocent. The problem now is that the more my son cries for me, the more I want to run away screaming.
This doesn’t mean I don’t love my son to death. It’s just since I’ve always been independent and self-sufficient, I’m really trying to instill this in him at a young age (you know I’ll regret this in a year). For instance, I was so proud that I taught him to hold his own bottle at 6 months. All my NMFs who still had their babies sitting on their laps eating were jealous. And over the past few months, I’ve taught my son the benefits of watching Go, Diego Go! while “mommy gets dressed for work” (don’t tell me you haven’t done this), and to play with blocks while “mommy cleans the kitchen,” (and checks her BlackBerry). He seems to be quite content to do such activities. It’s all good.
Lately, however, none of these tactics seem to work. The only thing that has kept him calm over the past week is me holding his now 22-lb. frame.  This has resulted in a very sore back (even if my biceps are buff).
That’s why this morning I could barely wait to get out the door for work. Needy, clingy, whiny clients are way better than needy, clingy, whiny babies.Â
Tags: separation anxiety, child care, mom rants
{ 2 trackbacks }
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Sara – great and honest entry today. I hate when people act like
having a baby is all sunshine and roses and it’s good to see
something so honest and true. I havent had to deal with this with
our daughter yet – but if I do, I will remember to check back and
read your entry!
Hope it passes soon – I bet it will!
I have been there! Both of my boys have outgrown it, although they have their moments. I think independence is a crucial thing to teach kids. After all, how else would moms get the 1,001 things done on their “To Do” list?
Sara, I feel your pain. In fact, I felt your pain the day my toddler was screaming, and my baby was screaming, and I did what any good mom would do and grabbed the video recorder so I could prove to other people later what hell this was. On the video, you see my older daughter screaming to be picked up. I sit down, and you hear me scream as she smashes the camera into my nose.
That said, handling needy whiny babies was good training for handling needy whiny executives. I once had a VP sitting and sulking in a meeting I was running, and I kept thinking “How would I handle this if he were my kid?”
I’m going through this right now with my 7 month old. In fact, she was so clingy and cried every single time I put her down last night that I took her to the doctor, certain something was wrong with her. Unfortunately, it looks like this is just a phase. Her ears were clear and there were no medical signs that pointed to an end in site for me.
I feel your pain! This is my third, so I do know it gets better. Hopefully sooner than later, right?
Thanks for all of the stories! It’s good to know that I’m not alone!
My daughter is nearing 8 months … still no signs of serious clinginess. But I have a feeling they’re coming. And my back is already killing me!
Susan @ Working Moms Against Guilt
http://wmag.blogspot.com
I’m a stay at home mom and I never dreamed that my 14 month old daughter would be this clingy, you know since we are together all day. And I thought when my husband got home I would get a break, yeah right. She only wants me. Very frustrating!! I see that some of you work (lucky you) but, is there a stay at home mom who is dealing with the same problem?
Yeah, that is a tough one… I do have a friend who’s daughter will not let her out
of her sight, but none of my other friends are going through this, which is why
it’s so frustrating!
Dawn, I have a 16 month old daughter and she was pretty much like that too. She would go to daddy
as soon as he was home, but just for moments. Now, I am working and although my daughter did cry most
of the first day at daycare, she is doing much better now. I am having the separation issues. I am
working 20 hrs a week and it feels great to be back interacting with adults. God Bless you Dawn. I never
new that staying at home is much harder than having an actual job.
Wow, I am glad to hear that I am not the only one that believes that staying at home is harder than working! I am a teacher and am off for the summer with my 17 month old. She follows me around the kitchen in the morning wanting me to pick her up. I try to foster her independence by giving her different toys and even her own safe kitchen cabinet full of safe items so she can play like mommy. That scenario lasts for about 3 minutes then she wants me to pick her up again. My parents promise it will get better. My body is sore and I’m exhausted. Funny thing is when she’s away I can’t stop thinking about her.
I’m going through that now with my 12 month old! I thought they were supposed to grow out of that by now.
Yes, I also find it very annoying (even though I love my son very much)! I agree…. leaving baby at day care and going
to work is much better for me.
My son is 17 months old now and it has been a three months of pure hell.
I have not been able to walk out of his sight for more than 1 minute (if I am lucky)
before the screaming begins.
My husband and I can’t even go out because all he does is screem like a
banshee when we leave. Maybe I should consider going to work and let a daycare provider
deal with the screeming.