Business travelers not welcome

Has anyone out there realized that the trendier the hotel, the worse it is for business travel?  I’ve experienced this before in New York (at the Paramount, trust me the website photos lie) so you’d think I’d learn that L.A. is just the same when it comes to overpriced boutique hotels.  Is there something wrong with me because I don’t like hotels with “schtick”? (Who actually thought sexual innuendos on an air conditioning system was clever?  Well, it’s kind of funny, but I’m too tired to laugh.) Is it too old-fashioned to actually require a box of tissue in the bathroom? With a sink color that doesn’t remind me of my high school locker room?

Anyway, I’m in L.A. for that cool mommy blogger event (more on that soon, I promise) and unfortunately, I decided to stay overnight to catch up with a friend and work out of our L.A. office tomorrow.  I say unfortunately, because I somehow ended up at The Standard Hotel in Hollywood.  Its website description says “Andre Balazs chic, affordable business hotels.”  Ok, Andre, why can’t you afford to give each room its own body lotion?  Aren’t you Uma’s boyfriend or fiance or something?

I swear, as soon as I walked into the cushy, dark, music-thumping lobby with the lit swimming pool I should have turned around and headed for the nearest Holiday Inn.  I bet their guests get their own internet cables without having to sign a $20 waiver (I’m serious).

I guess it’s too much to actually ask for a cup to brush my teeth with or maybe a gym so I can walk my lazy butt after sitting all day.  I thought everyone in L.A. is obsessed with working out.  Apparently, they’re all too worried about getting a spot in this glass bubble seat.  Looks comfy, but I’ll be taking my non-trendy self to the minimalist-platform bed – with only one blanket – nobody actually sleeps in this hotel – we just come here to be seen you loser - room.  Goodnight.

Tags: business travel, The Standard Hotel, Andre Balazs, boutique hotels