My anti-nap ritual
posted in Mom Friends, Mom Rants, WAHMs, Work-Life Balance, Working Moms |
One of my biggest pet peeves after I first had my son was when everyone told me to ”nap when the baby naps.” Even if I was a bleary-eyed, drooling mess, no matter how little sleep I got, I couldn’t nap “on demand.”  But isn’t it that how this whole baby thing works? You never get to do things when you actually want to do them. So it was much to my chagrin this week when I read about a new study on the benefits of napping. Like, that napping can possiby prevent you from a heart attack. (I personally think not changing messy diapers is the sure fire way to prevent heart attacks, but I’m not a scientist.) Just another thing for me to try to squeeze into my already jam packed days – a nap! (I think the people who write these articles are conspiring against new mothers with that Baby Whisperer woman who says you can schedule your child at the ridiculous age of 3 weeks or something.)
And the kicker? I also read that some people get to sleep at work.  Why don’t you just schedule my triple-bypass surgery now? I don’t know about you, but I don’t have time to nap. Not at work, not at home. My days are too busy with conference calls, meetings, errand running and oh yeah, taking care of a baby.  I don’t care if napping will “recharge my batteries” better than a ”chocolate bar” (which, if you eat too much WILL give you a heart attack.)  I don’t believe you when you say that napping is a way to “gain a competitive edge.”  Diet Coke is working just fine, thank you.  I’m anti-nap. So while you’re snoozing under your desk today, here’s my “just say no to napping” strategy.
- I will drink at least two caffeinated beverages a day. A hot one in the morning, and a cold one in the afternoon. Even if it costs me $5 a day.
- If I’m feeling drowsy in the late afternoon I will haul my butt to Old Navy to poke around for a few. Nothing gives me an adrenaline rush like finding a cute top on sale.
- I will go to bed at 9:30 every night. This is not good news for my husband, but I only have so much time in my day.
- I am going to banish boring from my vocabulary. The sure fire way to ensure napping is to be bored. So, no boring books, no boring projects at work. Excitement is my new middle name.
- I am going to tune out all my WAHM and SAHM friends who tell me what a good nap they had today. They are dead to me. Even though it is harder work to stay at home. They still don’t deserve it.
Who’s on board with my anti-napping plan? Ok, you probably don’t want to croak early. But at least you will have had a happier busier life.
Tags: napping, working mom, SAHM
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