During my travels this week I was able to catch up on my reading again. How nice because it allowed me to find out how the celebs are parenting these days. Or as some of us like to say: outsourcing parenthood. Apparently if you’re rich and connected enough, you can pay someone just about any amount of money to figure out your child’s little problems. Like what to do if your kid cries when you leave the house (alcohol drastically reduces those pangs of guilt, by the way.) Or how to get your kid to sleep through the night (ok, I might even pay for that.)Â
The article even gives props to a famous mom (name witheld) who put off shooting a Puff Daddy video so that she could stay home and sleep train her kids. Let’s be clear, here, though, if we had to sleep train our kid, could we call our boss and ask for the day off? I think not, but a girl can dream. Because I’m feeling sleepy dreamy today, here’s my list of what I would hire someone to help me with, ahem, outsource. Please feel free to add to this. It’s just a working draft.
- Changing diapers that smell really really bad. I’ll take the pee, you take the poo.
- Wiping snot from colds. Using the suction bulb would be a huge perk, but I probably can’t afford that.
- Cleaning up my floor after dinner (alternatively known in my house as, how much food can I possibly throw on the floor?)
- Playing “roll the ball” with my son after I’ve done it 20 times. Clapping and shouting “yay” after he’s figured out how to flick the ball my way is optional.
- Shopping for diapers, Aquaphor, A&D and Ocean’s Saline Nasal Spray. Buying these things are boring. Unless you can sneak in a trip to Target for them and throw in a cute bag while you’re at it.
Ok, your turn.
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Hanging out in the bathroom as my daughter sits on her potty. And sits. And sits. And doesn’t pee. Or poop. Then re-attaching the diaper while she’s upright.
I would have two helpers when changing diapers – one to change the diaper, the other to run and flush the offending poop. It must be nice.
Do any of these celeb moms breast feed, I wonder? The concept of a wet nurse doesn’t exist anymore in the U.S., right? Not that I would give up the opportunity to be that close to my daughter, just curious.
Enjoy Lost tonight!
Great call on the changing diapers bit. My husband still doesn’t understand the benefits of flushing the poop. Sheesh. You enjoy “Lost” too. I have no clue where they’re going with the show. But I still watch it.
I would love a picker-upper. Someone to pick her up, put her down, get her in and out of the car seat. It would really save me some back pain (and money spent on ThermaCare HeatWraps!)
Susan at Working Moms Against Guilt
http://www.workingmomsagainstguilt.com
I could really use a “Medicine Dispenser”. Feeding babies antibiotics twice a day, ten days in a row is so not fun with all the protesting …and I fear it could have some not so nice long term effects on the mom-baby relationship
Aw you beat me to it! Definitely cleaning up my floors after dinner. But I’ll also add putting
away the laundry. I just HATE it!!!!!!!! I’d pay for that in a heartbeat.