Comments on: And I thought Jewish guilt was the worst kind of guilt… http://www.selfmademom.net/2007/03/21/and-i-thought-jewish-guilt-was-the-worst-kind-of-guilt/ Off-Ramped and Unbalanced Tue, 31 Jan 2012 05:00:49 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: dorothy http://www.selfmademom.net/2007/03/21/and-i-thought-jewish-guilt-was-the-worst-kind-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-368 dorothy Wed, 28 Mar 2007 02:40:28 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2007/03/21/and-i-thought-jewish-guilt-was-the-worst-kind-of-guilt/#comment-368 When I started blogging when the little angel was three months old, pretty much every entry noted how guilty I felt. About working. Even though I have to, because I'm the breadwinner. About what she was eating, or not. About how much she was sleeping, or not (mostly not) and where (in her room, with me on the floor, when I prefer my soft bed). Now that she's almost three, I often find myself telling her and me and anyone that will listen to get over it, already, we love each other and it's all good. Because, as my husband always says, it is what it is. And life goes on. When I started blogging when the little angel was three months old, pretty much every entry noted how guilty I felt. About working. Even though I have to, because I’m the breadwinner. About what she was eating, or not. About how much she was sleeping, or not (mostly not) and where (in her room, with me on the floor, when I prefer my soft bed).

Now that she’s almost three, I often find myself telling her and me and anyone that will listen to get over it, already, we love each other and it’s all good. Because, as my husband always says, it is what it is. And life goes on.

]]> By: Amy http://www.selfmademom.net/2007/03/21/and-i-thought-jewish-guilt-was-the-worst-kind-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-367 Amy Fri, 23 Mar 2007 13:07:17 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2007/03/21/and-i-thought-jewish-guilt-was-the-worst-kind-of-guilt/#comment-367 I resolve to stop writing about guilt on my blog. I am a working mom and proud of it! I think we should band together and agree to ignore the noise. (Easy said than done, I know). I resolve to stop writing about guilt on my blog. I am a working mom and proud of it! I think we should band together and agree to ignore the noise. (Easy said than done, I know).

]]> By: NKYGAL http://www.selfmademom.net/2007/03/21/and-i-thought-jewish-guilt-was-the-worst-kind-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-366 NKYGAL Fri, 23 Mar 2007 01:09:00 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2007/03/21/and-i-thought-jewish-guilt-was-the-worst-kind-of-guilt/#comment-366 You kind of have to wonder if the numbers are skewed - not yours, the reports. I read a report today (can't remember where - I know...) that said that fewer married couples are deciding to have children. As a matter of fact, it said that across the U.S. the number of married couples without children was more higher than the number of marreid couples with children. That could have something to do with the numbers. I'll look for the article and post again if I find it. You kind of have to wonder if the numbers are skewed – not yours, the reports. I read a report today (can’t remember where – I know…) that said that fewer married couples are deciding to have children. As a matter of fact, it said that across the U.S. the number of married couples without children was more higher than the number of marreid couples with children. That could have something to do with the numbers.

I’ll look for the article and post again if I find it.

]]> By: Elizabeth http://www.selfmademom.net/2007/03/21/and-i-thought-jewish-guilt-was-the-worst-kind-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-365 Elizabeth Thu, 22 Mar 2007 18:10:51 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2007/03/21/and-i-thought-jewish-guilt-was-the-worst-kind-of-guilt/#comment-365 Life is busy whether you work, don't work, have kids, don't have kids. No matter who you are, there's going to be a time where you have obligations that prevent you from doing things that are important to you. That's just the way it is. Perhaps the time that people (that's meant to be rhetorical "people", btw, not addressed to anyone here)spend examining how much time they spend with their kids, could be better used by, I don't know, spending time with their kids? Life is busy whether you work, don’t work, have kids, don’t have kids.

No matter who you are, there’s going to be a time where you have obligations that prevent you from doing things that are important to you. That’s just the way it is.

Perhaps the time that people (that’s meant to be rhetorical “people”, btw, not addressed to anyone here)spend examining how much time they spend with their kids, could be better used by, I don’t know, spending time with their kids?

]]> By: selfmademom http://www.selfmademom.net/2007/03/21/and-i-thought-jewish-guilt-was-the-worst-kind-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-364 selfmademom Thu, 22 Mar 2007 15:35:27 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2007/03/21/and-i-thought-jewish-guilt-was-the-worst-kind-of-guilt/#comment-364 Thanks everyone for joining in on the conversation. I'm still wondering though, if there are moms out there who like this kind of advice and discussion. Maybe they are hiding out off the internet. And AmyBow- Lost was ridiculous. Best episode ever! Thanks everyone for joining in on the conversation. I’m still wondering though, if there are moms out there who like this kind of advice and discussion. Maybe they are hiding out off the internet. And AmyBow- Lost was ridiculous. Best episode ever!

]]> By: Kathy http://www.selfmademom.net/2007/03/21/and-i-thought-jewish-guilt-was-the-worst-kind-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-363 Kathy Thu, 22 Mar 2007 15:03:18 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2007/03/21/and-i-thought-jewish-guilt-was-the-worst-kind-of-guilt/#comment-363 Could not agree with you more. I'm SO tired of the media oversimplification and dumbing down of this issue. There was a fantastic article in the Nation that touched on this issue and the whole bogus idea that women should just get better at balancing better and multi-tasking rather than expecting society to change (e.g., better options for flex-time, men should be equal care givers, etc.). Women have been turned into a 'special interest group' politically which is nonsense. On a similar note, I have two small boys and travel some for my job and can't tell you how many times both friends and total strangers have said to me 'oh, don't you miss your kids?' Do they EVER ask this of fathers? What a stupid question, of course I miss my kids but I also like my job and I'm trying to be both a person and a mother. Sorry to ramble but had to comment. Keep up the great work with the blog!! Could not agree with you more. I’m SO tired of the media oversimplification
and dumbing down of this issue. There was a fantastic article in the Nation that touched
on this issue and the whole bogus idea that women should just get better at balancing
better and multi-tasking rather than expecting society to change (e.g., better options
for flex-time, men should be equal care givers, etc.). Women have been turned into a
‘special interest group’ politically which is nonsense.
On a similar note, I have two small boys and travel some for my job and can’t tell you how many times
both friends and total strangers have said to me ‘oh, don’t you miss your kids?’ Do they EVER
ask this of fathers? What a stupid question, of course I miss my kids but I also like my job
and I’m trying to be both a person and a mother.
Sorry to ramble but had to comment.
Keep up the great work with the blog!!

]]> By: Amy http://www.selfmademom.net/2007/03/21/and-i-thought-jewish-guilt-was-the-worst-kind-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-362 Amy Thu, 22 Mar 2007 14:04:55 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2007/03/21/and-i-thought-jewish-guilt-was-the-worst-kind-of-guilt/#comment-362 I agree with all of the above in that I'm tired of hearing of Mommy Guilt. My alternative would be to give up my job and stay home with my kids, however, we wouldn't be able to own a house, own a car and I'm not even quite sure that at that point we would be able to afford to eat. At that point, would it be okay to not feed them because I was able to stay home with them instead of having a nanny? I agree with all of the above in that I’m tired of hearing of Mommy Guilt. My alternative would be to give up my job and stay home with my kids, however, we wouldn’t be able to own a house, own a car and I’m not even quite sure that at that point we would be able to afford to eat. At that point, would it be okay to not feed them because I was able to stay home with them instead of having a nanny?

]]> By: AmyBow http://www.selfmademom.net/2007/03/21/and-i-thought-jewish-guilt-was-the-worst-kind-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-361 AmyBow Thu, 22 Mar 2007 13:37:18 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2007/03/21/and-i-thought-jewish-guilt-was-the-worst-kind-of-guilt/#comment-361 If it wasn't for the freaking media perpetuating the idea that we should feel guilty, there would be a whole lot more content moms in the world. Up yours, media! BTW - Lost was great last night. Although Locke's daddy looks way younger than Locke. You know he isn't suffering from any parental guilt. If it wasn’t for the freaking media perpetuating the idea that we should feel guilty, there would be a whole lot more content moms in the world. Up yours, media!

BTW – Lost was great last night. Although Locke’s daddy looks way younger than Locke. You know he isn’t suffering from any parental guilt.

]]> By: L.A. Dadddy http://www.selfmademom.net/2007/03/21/and-i-thought-jewish-guilt-was-the-worst-kind-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-360 L.A. Dadddy Thu, 22 Mar 2007 05:52:44 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2007/03/21/and-i-thought-jewish-guilt-was-the-worst-kind-of-guilt/#comment-360 You're right. The best thing to do is just be a parent. Do the best you can and not worry about what others say you should or shouldn't be doing. I try to just be a parent. I get that I'll mess some things up and do other things better than anyone else. You’re right. The best thing to do is just be a parent. Do the best you can and not worry about what others say you should or shouldn’t be doing. I try to just be a parent. I get that I’ll mess some things up and do other things better than anyone else.

]]> By: Devra Renner http://www.selfmademom.net/2007/03/21/and-i-thought-jewish-guilt-was-the-worst-kind-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-359 Devra Renner Thu, 22 Mar 2007 02:45:43 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2007/03/21/and-i-thought-jewish-guilt-was-the-worst-kind-of-guilt/#comment-359 I'm tired of it too and I really wish the Today Show had contacted Aviva and me. We know a little about both kinds of guilt. The Jewish variety as well as the mommy kind. Both are present in society, but not nearly as misery producing as what is being portrayed right now. Also guilt should not be used as fodder for inciting a mommy war. Had Avvia and I been asked we would have been able to provide survey results of over 1300 parents, mainly moms, that indicate guilt happens regardless of employment status. Also dividing parents like that, just servess as a distraction from dealing witth the real source of much of our angst as parents. Policies, employers and laws that devalue caregiving in our society. Any caregiving, not just parenting! I’m tired of it too and I really wish the Today Show had contacted Aviva and me. We know a little about both kinds of guilt. The Jewish variety as well as the mommy kind. Both are present in society, but not nearly as misery producing as what is being portrayed right now. Also guilt should not be used as fodder for inciting a mommy war. Had Avvia and I been asked we would have been able to provide survey results of over 1300 parents, mainly moms, that indicate guilt happens regardless of employment status. Also dividing parents like that, just servess as a distraction from dealing witth the real source of much of our angst as parents. Policies, employers and laws that devalue caregiving in our society. Any caregiving, not just parenting!

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