The “one-year-old” syndrome

At first when I had my son, everyone kept saying, “it gets better, don’t worry.” Unfortunately, that’s not exactly what you want to hear when you are blinded by sleep deprivation, your body hurts in places you didn’t think it could and you are holding a little screaming thing the size of a large chicken.  You cannot see through the newborn haze, and so you don’t believe that things really do improve.

Fortunately, they do.

I’m now the proud mother of a one-year old.  A little “man-in-training” that actually has a personality.  Experts say the term “toddler” starts at age one.  So technically my son is no longer an “infant.”  He’s vital and growing and excited about all the new things he’s doing. How I’m doing, you ask?  I’m having a tougher time with the transition.

One problem I’m suffering from is how I am supposed to refer to my son.  I found myself the other day fumbling for words. “Uhh uhm, I have a child.” Child? Over the past week my little bitty baby somehow turned into a child? The thought of banishing baby from my vocabulary brings on the Godzilla of lumps in the throat.  Although in my mind, no matter how old he gets, he will always be my “baby.” Right? (Oy, I am turning into my mother.)

Another issue for me: when you have a toddler, it’s not as easy to blame fussiness on bottles. He’s no longer drinking formula from a bottle (weaning was E-A-S-Y, lucky me) so when he’s kvetchy, I cannot pull out the “he has gas” wild card that I loved to use during infancy.  Damn. I guess I really have to figure out what’s wrong and ditch the Mylicon.

Also, I didn’t plan for certain things, like, uhm, mobility.  Yeah, the “babyproofer” is finally coming over next week.  That should be interesting. And expensive. Did WE all have babyproofed homes growing up? I don’t recall my house having gates, latches, magnet closures, outlet protectors and you-can’t-go-anywhere-without-something-protecting-you covers.  And look how good we turned out! (okay, maybe you guys turned out normal.)

Then there’s the work thing. It’s real easy to go back to work when you have a crying “blob” of a baby at home (I’m channeling Angelina Jolie at the moment.)  When you head back to work after maternity leave, usually your baby can’t do much but smile occasionally.  Unless you’re my kid who sat up and spoke Spanish from day one.  Don’t worry, I’m just kidding.  He couldn’t speak Spanish until he was six months old.

But seriously, when they’re that little, you know your days will be filled with many smelly diapers, maybe a lunch outing if you can get your s*** in a bag and make it somewhere on time, and crying. Lots of crying. I forgot how much a four-month old cries compared to a one-year-old. So I don’t hang out with anyone who has a baby under six months anymore. Five months if they’re a good friend.

Now, however, my son is a little person. He gives back.  He communicates in his own, darling way. Even if that just means pointing and a lot of consonant sounds. And we have fun together when I’m home.  We get to go swimming, hang out at the zoo, and sing songs.  I think he likes our activities. But he told me in Spanish, so I didn’t quite understand.

You guys, I’m beginning to SAHM the light. (Get it? I’m such a loser.)

But wait a sec.  No, no, I’m not ready to throw in the towel of working motherhood just yet. When I said he gives back, I meant, that when he eats a meal now, he gives all the food back to me by throwing it in my face.  I’m currently very happy having a few days where I can count on having clean clothes at lunch.

Yes, it’s true. I’m suffering right now from a bad case of one-year-old syndrome.  I don’t want it to go any faster, but I don’t want to look back.  Truth be told though, it wouldn’t be right any other way.

Tags: SAHM, working mom, toddler, infant, child care