In this month’s In Style magazine (I know, heavy reading), costume designer Debra McGuire makes an interesting comment about Katherine Heigl’s pre-to-pregnancy wardrobe in the upcoming movie Knocked Up:
Like all women who raise children, she [Heigl] experiences many fashion phases.
I sort of wish she had expanded on this term, “fashion phases,” but since she didn’t, I thought I’d take the liberty of recalling the typical wardrobe changes I went through as I became a new mom. Feel free to add your “phase” as needed.
Phase 1: Show-and-don’t-tell
Many of us like to wait awhile before we announce our little secret, but sometimes mother nature likes to play tricks and discloses pregnancy before we’re ready. Sometimes you ”show” when you’re not ready to tell. Thank goodness long shirts are in nowadays. They’re really good for covering up the waistband that you can’t quite cinch anymore.Â
Phase 2: Bump-a-licious
At about month four of pregnancy, you take a look in the mirror at your rounding belly and think, “boy, I look cute.” Then if you’re anything like me, you head out to the nearest maternity botique where the salespeople “ooh and ahh” at your bump and coerce you into spending way too much for that silly top with a string that ties around your back (seriously, what pregnant woman can actually tie this herself?) and really will only fit you for four more weeks. No, I don’t plan ahead when it comes to clothes.
Phase 3: Feeling-not-so-hot
There is a time long into your pregnancy when you realize you aren’t going to stay Bump-a-licious forever, and really you’re just lookin’ large. Now’s the time to whip out the size XL long sleeve top you found on the back rack of the Gap maternity store on sale for $9.99 because, well, you really don’t care what you wear to work anymore, as long as its comfortable. And you’re lying if you haven’t worn flip flops or Ugg boots to the office at this stage of the game.
Phase 4: Hide-the-pooch
After your baby is born you think you look really good. And thin. You even think you can wear normal clothes again. Until you realize that really, you’re just playing a game of “Hide-the-pooch.” It’s sort of like “Show-and-don’t-tell” but this time your belly’s not that cute.  Unfortunately, this means you’ll have to whip out those flowy tops from the early stages of pregnancy again to hide the poochy belly. Because we all know the worse thing someone can ask you after you’ve had your baby is if you’re pregnant. And it’s happened to all of us.
Phase 5: Back-to-work
Going back to work after baby takes lots of planning and thought – about your clothes, of course. I spent many weeks debating and deciding child care what I was going to wear the first time I saw my coworkers after 4 months off. (Yes, I was lucky, I had extra time to find a good outfit.) All I can say about this phase is go find something you like and looks good for you. You never had a better excuse to go buy new clothes.
Phase 6: The real you
Sometime after the “9 months down” scenario plays out in all its evil, you realize that even if you’re thin again, your body just doesn’t look the same as it did pre-baby. I personally have lots of extra skin around the middle and wider hips. So I had to “readjust” my wardrobe. I seem to reuse those long flowy tops still, but have a little more confidence to put on a good old pair of skinny pants once in awhile. For about an hour before I change back into my trusty sweats. Old habits die hard.
Technorati Tags: mom fashion, office fashion, pregnancy, pregnancy fashion, fashion, mom rants, Knocked Up, In Style
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Don’t forget the home from the hospital phase. The one where the clothes you went to the hospital in hang off you which fools you into trying to pull on a pair of non maternity pre-baby jeans only to discover you can’t even get them over your hips let alone button them. So then you’re stuck wearing maternity clothes awhile longer and you try to pick the least maternity looking maternity stuff you own until you drop a few pounds.
No one warned me about phase 4, it was the worst! A good friend whom had her son just before me never went through stage 4, so I had so idea it even existed. Man did I received shock!
Oooo — I LOVES me the In Style magazine! I can’t help myself!
Let’s not forget dribbling stage, you know the one that begins in the third trimester when you finally get your appetite back. I can’t tell you how many of my maternity shirts I ruined by dribbling food on them.
One thing I CANNOT STAND is those women who say “oh, I left the hospital in my old tight hip-hugger blue jeans! My belly went right down after 2 days!”. Liar, liar, pants on fire. 11 months after my 3rd kid I’m just now getting back into my old size. It takes longer every time, even if you do the EXACT SAME amount of exercise and diet as before. Age, slowing metabolism, sleep deprivation x3?