In the movie, “Knocked Up” (which I saw over the weekend) the main character, a woman in her early twenties, happens to get pregnant accidentally. (Warning, plot spoiler ahead.)Â
She’s also very career-focused, saying she didn’t envision having a baby “for another 10 years.” (I’ll save that for another blog topic.)  In fact, when she was eight weeks pregnant she actually got a promotion, to her nauseous surprise (she had just puked in the middle of a major assignment.) And while I thought the movie was hilarious and entertaining, I still sort of can’t get past how the lead character decided to divulge her news (and growing bump) to her bosses.
She didn’t. Not for 8 months.
Okay, I know I shouldn’t overanalyze a silly Hollywood movie that according to the New York Times is an “instant classic,” but something about why people think it’s so funny that an up-and-coming young woman feels too nervous to tell her work that she’s pregnant gnaws at me. Maybe the writer and director of the movie made the plot take that turn to amplify or critique common stereotypes of today’s workplace. Maybe it was just for comic value.Â
Of course, here in the real world, this is no laughing matter. One of my close friends who’s pregnant with number two just told her boss her news last week, 4 1/2 months pregnant. She was incredibly nervous and kept putting it off, but of course she could only hide it for so long. It was getting obvious. Sort of like the 32-week bump in the movie.
I will admit it – there is something inherently funny about a girl waiting eight months to tell her boss she’s pregnant. It’s ludicrous. But what’s more ludicrous is the fact that in today’s society, us working moms still get the willies about this topic because we fear our boss’s reaction. And if you sit and think about that premise long and hard enough, it sort of really isn’t all that funny.
Update: The WSJ Juggle Blog wrote about this topic today and poses the question: when should you tell your boss? A good discussion for sure!
Tags: Knocked Up, mom-friendly company, pregnancy,
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I thought it hysterical that she was pretending to be oblivious to the fact that she was showing. I remember thinking I was showing at 14 weeks (the 9 month pregnant me laughed loudly in restrospect). Did she really think people don’t notice? Or were we supposed to suspend reality and think that are people in Hollywood are polite and they don’t mention when women are putting on weight in a really obvious spot?
I have a friend who concealed her pregnancy for 7 months. She was single and feared the stigma.
But this was about 12 years, when those big boxy suits were still in style. It would be a little harder to pull that off today. And trust me, it was no laughing matter for her.
I had only been at my current workplace (thankfully very family friendly) for four months when I got pregnant with my first daughter. I was really nervous about telling my boss. I work for another working mom, though, and I think somehow that made it easier.
But yeah…the premise of this movie (which I have not seen) seems to be a bit behind the times!
I haven’t seen the movie yet but I can comment on telling your boss.
When I told my boss I was pregant I asked him if he would “walk” with me outside. As soon as we were outside I told him that I had something to tell him. Before I could even spit out the words”I’m Pregnant” my boss says’”OMG, are you quitting?” When I told him no, that I was just pregnant, he was relieved. It was nice to know that he didn’t see it as an issue. I think I am lucky. My office is pretty family friendly. All of the Senior Staff are parents.
I’m currently 9 weeks pregnant with my second. Since I had my daughter before I started working, this is my first experience with having to tell a boss I’m expecting.
Since it’s my 2nd, I’m already starting to show a bit. I’ve been wearing larger clothes to hide my “bump”, but I know it’s just a matter of time until they’ll be able to tell.
Any ideas on how to tell a new boss (my old boss just took a new position)…and a new group of coworkers (I just started in this department about 2 1/2 months ago)…
Thanks in advance…
PS – I have also had a history of miscarriages so I somehow need to address that when I tell her (I’m being monitored extra closely by my docotr (with appts every week) so that might become an issue)…