Comments on: Give us something to talk about

By: HubbyManBuddyBossDad

HubbyManBuddyBossDad — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 09:56:34 +0000

Thanks for this insight. I ran into your posts by Googleing something unrelated and couldn’t stop reading. It looks like my wife could say something very similar. There’s less time and more challenges every day, especially since our daughter was born, so our conversations are reduced to rudimentary fragments like “Hi, I’m at the store – do we need anything?” or “Are you OK?” (which by the way in my own dictionary stands for “Sorry I neglected you. I’m here and I still care for you.”) Before I can be a good partner I personally often feel a need to get some space and charge the batteries, which on some days is reduced to bathroom time. The problem is that by the time I’m back home I’m tired of interaction with people, while my stay-home wife is tired of lack thereof. We sometimes get worried, unable to find ourselves amidst all that and I’m glad to see that many more people share the same experience, which, I suppose, makes it normal, or at least makes me more comfortable about our relationship at this point in time. Seeing that you too worry about it and are trying to work on it touches my heart. We try to have a date every now and then but often don’t succeed. Nevertheless, we keep trying because a date always brings the good old feeling from the days when we were rich DINKs as opposed to (financially) poor SIKs and it always returns the old magic and glow in our eyes. The other thing I sometimes do and will try to do more is communicating to her via email as it stands there saved and carved in electronics and hard drives, free of every day communication-impeding noise. It gets more challenging with the kid but I’m touched and enlightened to see our struggle is more or less archetypal.
So on behalf of all the busy, tired and life overwhelmed husbands let me hereby mention one important thing – we (still do) love you.

By: The ban » Self-Made Mom

The ban » Self-Made Mom — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 15:26:28 +0000

[...] an effort to create stimulating conversation with my husband and expedite my recovery from a blogging overdose, I came up with a crafty plan for [...]

By: Susan

Susan — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 01:01:00 +0000

It’s nice to know I’m not the only one. Fortunately, my hubby’s expectations for intelligent or interesting conversation are low. Just as long as he can play his video games, he’s happy. But I find when we get away (either for a weekend or just a date), we eventually start talking like we did before baby (or marriage, for that matter). We still got it–we just have to find it again.

Susan at Working Moms Against Guilt
http://www.workingmomsagainstguilt.com

By: Anita

Anita — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 15:50:46 +0000

Yup, this sounds familiar. Did you see the episode of “Everybody Loves Raymond” where Ray and Debra finally go to a restaurant by themselves and have nothing to talk about except how creamy the butter was or somthing? We had an episode like that recently on my birthday. We got a sitter and went out, just the two of us, and just sat there in silence. It was pretty sad. Eventually we managed to start talking about life before kids and the conversation became fun, but it took a while of racking our brains.

By: L.A. Daddy

L.A. Daddy — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 22:46:23 +0000

One of the things I try to prevent is conversations about people. I always try to steer things away from what some mommy at daycare or what some co-worker at work said or did. I think to talk about things. Ideas. Even if we agree on something, or disagree, I want to talk about it.

Politics, religion, family stuff, vacations, news of the day, funny stories, whatever… that’s what gets me going.

By: Chic.Mama

Chic.Mama — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 17:00:16 +0000

We have this problem all the time – talk about Garcon flows much easier than talk about anything else. The other topic is the day at work, which frustrates one or both of us – depending on how much I’m venting.

Nataly has a point – no work or child talk might actually lead to a fruitful conversation!

SMM – love the site.

By: Working Mom

Working Mom — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 03:36:40 +0000

I write hiding in my bedroom as my in-laws are staying with us. Luckily neither of us enjoy their company much, so we talk about how rotten they are. Not much of a topic, but at least it is something we can agree on and laugh about. It is going to be a struggle once they leave. Reading this back, this is just pathetic. I got nothin’

By: selfmademom

selfmademom — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 18:11:12 +0000

Ok, I’m laughing and taking notes at the same time! Thanks guys!

By: Trish

Trish — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 16:18:17 +0000

Been there. I am not allowed to talk about work-he doesn’t 100% understand what I do and quite frankly I doesn’t understand what he does either. On Friday nights we will get pizza and let the kids watch a movie in our room (big treat) and we just “hang out” like we used to. We have some beers and listen to our old cds and we always end up talking about funny thing when we were dating or before we met (been together 17 years, married 11). We always find something to chat about (“did I ever tell you about the time…” etc…)

By: Nataly

Nataly — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 13:56:10 +0000

Totally know where you’re coming from – been there and get there a lot. Here’s what we try to do – at least once a week have dinner without TV, sitting down at a table (yes, that takes effort in our house!) We try to not talk about work or our daughter, which is tough, but doable for 30 minutes. Nothing groundbreaking emerges in the discussion, but we talk about movies, something he or I read in the paper or online, what our friends are up to, etc. It’s a nice relief from the usual:)