Comments on: I’m out of the closet. Again. http://www.selfmademom.net/2007/08/01/im-out-of-the-closet-again/ Off-Ramped and Unbalanced Tue, 16 Mar 2010 02:20:17 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: This is why I’m staying just like I am… » Self-Made Mom http://www.selfmademom.net/2007/08/01/im-out-of-the-closet-again/comment-page-1/#comment-786 This is why I’m staying just like I am… » Self-Made Mom Fri, 02 Nov 2007 03:09:35 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2007/08/01/im-out-of-the-closet-again/#comment-786 [...] at a meeting, wonderful.  I am trying not to care how people at work judge me. As you all know, I’m out of the closet.  That’s because I can’t pretend to be someone I’m not. Even if in someone [...] [...] at a meeting, wonderful.  I am trying not to care how people at work judge me. As you all know, I’m out of the closet.  That’s because I can’t pretend to be someone I’m not. Even if in someone [...]

]]> By: I’m such a liability they should take out an insurance policy on me » Self-Made Mom http://www.selfmademom.net/2007/08/01/im-out-of-the-closet-again/comment-page-1/#comment-777 I’m such a liability they should take out an insurance policy on me » Self-Made Mom Thu, 04 Oct 2007 03:50:38 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2007/08/01/im-out-of-the-closet-again/#comment-777 [...] I don’t hide in the working mom “closet” pretending everything is alright on the homefront.  I can’t stay late in the office every night to finish up work (that’s what going online at 8 pm is for!)  I’m working at home more than I’m not because I have some crisis to monitor, and when I should be writing a communications plan I’m usually texting my nanny to see when my son went to bed. [...] [...] I don’t hide in the working mom “closet” pretending everything is alright on the homefront.  I can’t stay late in the office every night to finish up work (that’s what going online at 8 pm is for!)  I’m working at home more than I’m not because I have some crisis to monitor, and when I should be writing a communications plan I’m usually texting my nanny to see when my son went to bed. [...]

]]> By: Working Mom http://www.selfmademom.net/2007/08/01/im-out-of-the-closet-again/comment-page-1/#comment-785 Working Mom Thu, 02 Aug 2007 23:19:15 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2007/08/01/im-out-of-the-closet-again/#comment-785 Just 5 minutes ago, I had to tell my boss that I was not going out for drinks tonight with her and a few others while she is in town for the day. And you know what, she wouldn't either! I love that she understands and values that I give everything at the office (especially to the blogosphere). I am what I am. Now, the paranoid part of me worries that my stinky little direct reports will be scamps while they are out with her! Just 5 minutes ago, I had to tell my boss that I was not going out for drinks tonight with her and a few others while she is in town for the day. And you know what, she wouldn’t either! I love that she understands and values that I give everything at the office (especially to the blogosphere). I am what I am. Now, the paranoid part of me worries that my stinky little direct reports will be scamps while they are out with her!

]]> By: Jill http://www.selfmademom.net/2007/08/01/im-out-of-the-closet-again/comment-page-1/#comment-784 Jill Thu, 02 Aug 2007 16:27:00 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2007/08/01/im-out-of-the-closet-again/#comment-784 I spent several years as the "head honcho" of an HR department and had to deal a lot with these kind of "mommy vs. not mommy" issues. I was single and childless at the time but I was always an advocate for parents' issues. For example, I thought paid time off was biased against parents since many times they needed "sick days" because their child was ill. It certainly wasn't a "vacation day". Thus, I rolled all time off into one big pot and people could use it for whatever they wanted. I'm a mom now, and I proudly wear my mommy badge. I spent several years as the “head honcho” of an HR department and had to deal a lot with these kind of “mommy vs. not mommy” issues. I was single and childless at the time but I was always an advocate for parents’ issues. For example, I thought paid time off was biased against parents since many times they needed “sick days” because their child was ill. It certainly wasn’t a “vacation day”. Thus, I rolled all time off into one big pot and people could use it for whatever they wanted. I’m a mom now, and I proudly wear my mommy badge.

]]> By: Susan http://www.selfmademom.net/2007/08/01/im-out-of-the-closet-again/comment-page-1/#comment-783 Susan Thu, 02 Aug 2007 15:45:32 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2007/08/01/im-out-of-the-closet-again/#comment-783 Good for you! Wear your motherhood like a badge of honor. I frequently say no to after-work social opportunities, but once in a while, I surprise everyone with a yes. It's good to keep 'em on their toes. Susan at Working Moms Against Guilt http:/www.workingmomsagainstguilt.com Good for you! Wear your motherhood like a badge of honor. I frequently say no to after-work social opportunities, but once in a while, I surprise everyone with a yes. It’s good to keep ‘em on their toes.

Susan at Working Moms Against Guilt
http:/www.workingmomsagainstguilt.com

]]> By: GHD http://www.selfmademom.net/2007/08/01/im-out-of-the-closet-again/comment-page-1/#comment-782 GHD Thu, 02 Aug 2007 15:20:07 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2007/08/01/im-out-of-the-closet-again/#comment-782 I think you just have to make the distinction between having additional priorities,not OTHER priories. When I was working (I'm a SAHM, now), I found that it was all in the image you portrayed. My boss once made the comment to me that "she never even knew I had a child"... make of that what you will :-) I didn't think I was "hiding" anything. I had baby photos on my desk and blocked off time on my calendar to pump, after all... but, while the other moms/dads in my office would stand around exchanging their newest "you won't believe what junior did" stories, I came, I worked, and I left on time. I never asked another else to make compromises on my behalf and hit all of my deadlines. When a situation arose where I had to decline a dinner or run late, my dedication to my job was never questioned. I think you just have to make the distinction between having additional priorities,not OTHER priories. When I was working (I’m a SAHM, now), I found that it was all in the image you portrayed. My boss once made the comment to me that “she never even knew I had a child”… make of that what you will :-)

I didn’t think I was “hiding” anything. I had baby photos on my desk and blocked off time on my calendar to pump, after all… but, while the other moms/dads in my office would stand around exchanging their newest “you won’t believe what junior did” stories, I came, I worked, and I left on time. I never asked another else to make compromises on my behalf and hit all of my deadlines. When a situation arose where I had to decline a dinner or run late, my dedication to my job was never questioned.

]]> By: crazedparent/jobmom http://www.selfmademom.net/2007/08/01/im-out-of-the-closet-again/comment-page-1/#comment-788 crazedparent/jobmom Thu, 02 Aug 2007 04:52:31 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2007/08/01/im-out-of-the-closet-again/#comment-788 You know how I feel:) It's hard to do, and sure, not everyone can say no, but the more of us that do, the easier it will be for others to follow in our footsteps. You know how I feel:) It’s hard to do, and sure, not everyone can say no, but the more of us that do, the easier it will be for others to follow in our footsteps.

]]> By: L.A. Daddy http://www.selfmademom.net/2007/08/01/im-out-of-the-closet-again/comment-page-1/#comment-781 L.A. Daddy Wed, 01 Aug 2007 23:56:06 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2007/08/01/im-out-of-the-closet-again/#comment-781 It's great you've got one who gets it. But I know why some hide. I can just see people being passed up for promotions and new opportunities because they'll take the whole baby thing into consideration. It’s great you’ve got one who gets it. But I know why some hide. I can just see people being passed up for promotions and new opportunities because they’ll take the whole baby thing into consideration.

]]> By: BirdieRoark http://www.selfmademom.net/2007/08/01/im-out-of-the-closet-again/comment-page-1/#comment-779 BirdieRoark Wed, 01 Aug 2007 22:58:06 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2007/08/01/im-out-of-the-closet-again/#comment-779 I don't mind that everyone knows that I have kid. But I always stick to my "I have a previous commitment" and leave it at that. And I do try to make it to some of the last minute events. I think it is important to not hide behind the “I’m a mom and I never have to be social after work” banner that I see many moms start. But I try to say yes at least some of the time. I’d hate for people to just see me as a mom and stop asking me to join in on the fun stuff. I don’t mind that everyone knows that I have kid. But I always stick to my “I have a previous commitment” and leave it at that.

And I do try to make it to some of the last minute events. I think it is important to not hide behind the “I’m a mom and I never have to be social after work” banner that I see many moms start. But I try to say yes at least some of the time. I’d hate for people to just see me as a mom and stop asking me to join in on the fun stuff.

]]> By: Jonathon Morgan http://www.selfmademom.net/2007/08/01/im-out-of-the-closet-again/comment-page-1/#comment-780 Jonathon Morgan Wed, 01 Aug 2007 22:30:42 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2007/08/01/im-out-of-the-closet-again/#comment-780 Because I run in circles where the majority of people don't have kids, I tend to find myself in the same position. It's easy to "hide" the fact that I'm a parent, easier to pretend I don't have that obligation. But I'm with you (and the other commenters), life is easier when I'm not pretending, and if people don't understand, we probably wouldn't have gotten along for very long anyway. Because I run in circles where the majority of people don’t have kids, I tend to find myself in the same position. It’s easy to “hide” the fact that I’m a parent, easier to pretend I don’t have that obligation. But I’m with you (and the other commenters), life is easier when I’m not pretending, and if people don’t understand, we probably wouldn’t have gotten along for very long anyway.

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