Ten things I noticed about you

I work part-time, so my coworkers don’t see me as often at work as maybe some other suckers people who punch the clock 40 hours (ha!) a week.  And because I work in an office of 300+ it could literally be years before I run into someone familiar on another floor.

Like today.

Today was the double whammy where I happened to run into two old work friends who I hadn’t seen in awhile.  And they both noticed my new haircut. But that’s about it.

I cut 6+ inches off my mane and all I get is: ”You got a new haircut.”

hair.jpg

Do you like the ‘do?

Which leads me to ask – why bother saying anything at all?  It’s like telling a 40-week preggo she looks like she’s going to pop.  There are certain things you don’t say to new mothers. Especially those who’ve decided to go with the ubiquitous “I cut my hair off after I had the baby because I didn’t have time to dry my long tresses” plan.  Herewith, my list of things one should never say to a newly-working mom:

  1. “Do you need some Clearasil?”
  2. “Hey, I just noticed – it looks like you have some spit up (or is it yogurt?) on your shirt.”
  3. “Your hair looks nice in a ponytail.”
  4. “Are those shoes from Target?” (I said that today and got an eye-roll and a frown. Not good. So it’s now on the list.)
  5. “It’s a good things leggings are in style this year.”
  6. “Can I buy you a coffee?”
  7. “They’re having a special on sweet potatoes in the cafeteria today.”
  8. “I just got my nails done. Don’t they look good?”

I couldn’t quite get to all ten.  I guess once in awhile I can be ”nice.”  What’s on your list?

Comments

  1. How are these-
    How was your morning? How was your night? You look tired. How did you sleep?
    And the worst one – Did you have the baby yet?

    Thanks for the laugh above. This not-so-new mother needed some comedy tonight!

  2. This happened many years ago as my friend and I were 30 seconds from a fairly big presentation. One of the early attendees decided to chit-chat and asked my friend/co-presenter “Is your hair wet?”. Um, no, it wasn’t.

    We remember that one everytime another doosy comes out of our boss’s mouth – typically, “Oh, new sweater? Mmmmm…”

  3. “Who’s watching the baby” Oh you know we just left her at home, she’s 6 weeks old, but she can take care of herself… and thanks for reminding me that it’s not me at home with my newborn, since I still have wacky hormones I may just burst into tears on you!

  4. I think your hair is cute! And I am loving your list and the comments!

    Steph

  5. “Wow… you look nice today!” which insinuates that you haven’t looked presentable in quite awhile.

  6. “So, the baby’s sleeping through the night, right? Mine slept through at 2 weeks old!”

  7. Your hair looks GREAT! And, hey, I just bought a cute pair of shoes at Target!

  8. OK, I JUST returned to work from maternity leave a week ago. The best comment I’ve gotten is “Look how skinny you are! You don’t look like you had a baby.” THAT made my day.

    Less loved questions include:

    “Do you miss the baby?” (Gosh, what do YOU think?)
    “Who is watching the baby?” (We have a complicated schedule of care, do you want to hear a day-by-day, play-by-play?)
    “Was it hard to come back to work?” (Well, they pay me to be here, so no.)
    “You must be exhausted. Are you getting any sleep?” (Why, do I look tired?)

  9. mostly just concern for my sleep. It’s like, why don’t you just tell me I look like crap.

  10. My least favorite now is the inquisition on when we plan on having another. One of these days I’m going to
    go into a rant about how N’s in grad school, we can barely afford daycare for 1, and we are perfectly
    content with our one.

    I also find it really disturbing when men ask mothers if they nursed or formula-fed their babies. WTF?
    When did my boobs become acceptable work conversation??

  11. I like your hair. Wanna go to Target?

  12. Now that I have lost my baby weight (or rather the baby “shift of weight”), my mother-in-law’s co-workers ask me constantly if I ever eat and then continue to tell my mother-in-law that they think I am anorexic. I want to be like “People! I’m a stay-at-home mom! I miss meals here and there, but I eat more than my fair share of brownies, pizza, and the not-so-occasional ice cream. My weight might have shifted, but unfortunately it didn’t shift to my boobs. :(

  13. “What is that noise that comes from your office a few times a day? Sounds like a machine of some sort.”
    (Breastpump, just what I wanted to talk about because I don’t get enough of it everyday.)

    “Don’t you miss your baby?”
    (Umm duh?)

    “Why are you working when you have little ones?”
    (I would like to keep a roof over their head?)

  14. On an unrelated note, have you checked out this gift that was listed in Parents Mag. this month? Thought you might like it for your little guy, but he might not be able to appreciate it yet… http://www.landofnod.com/family.aspx?c=2009&f=4055&pc=1225

  15. so my old boss, when i was back from mat leave about 3-4 months, kinda of inserted himself into a conversation i was having with a femal co-worker. i was still pumping at the time and mentioned something related to it. my boss, father of three girls,
    said something to the effect of “Huh? why bother breast feeding. it doesn’t matter after they are six weeks old. after that is
    is such a pain and more about the mom” i kid you not. i mean i loved so much abotu this guy. his lack of social skills in that
    situation and in general in mixed company was obvious! ahh gawd laughter ensued after he walked away.

  16. Here’s one I got from a female “friend” at the office after returning from maternity leave..

    “Did your breasts shrink?”

    Whey yes they did… thanks for pointing out the obvious and making me feel like poo!

  17. How about “you look tired…are the kids sick?” or the more subtle, “It’s understandable if your car is dirty…you’re a mom!”

    I caught myself telling my daughter’s daycare teacher (who is about 4 1/2 months pregnant…”you’re looking pregnant!” I came back with, “as you should…you look really cute.” Ugh…open mouth, insert foot.

    I LOVE your hair cut!! I wish I could wear mine short…it does not look good on me. It would be a heck of a lot easier to maintain.

  18. Part-time/overtime says:

    How about this one, when you’re working part-time at work cobbling together day care and tyring to keep it all together: “Have fun on your day off.” (Meaning, Tuesday, the day you’re at home) This, from a 27 year old guy with no kids, no mortgage and no understanding of how the world really works.

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