The things I’ve learned about raising a boy

Congratulations to Julie, who’s  having her third child, a boy, very soon! In preparation for her big day, some of her friends are hosting a virtual shower to celebrate the new arrival.  And they have asked us on the blogosphere who have little boys to give her some advice on what it’s like to rear a kid of the XY kind.

I could see why, after having 2 girls, it might be scary to have a boy.  But if I were Julie, I would think of it as hitting the genetic lottery.  To ease her fears, though, I’ve compiled this list of things I’ve learned in the last two years about raising a boy:

  1. peepee2.jpgWhatever the experts tell you, pee-pee teepees don’t work. You’re better off telling your daughters you got them pretend birthday hats for their dolls instead.
  2. You will never have to worry about what clothes your boy wears because you really only have 2 choices: camouflage or pirate.
  3. You can wipe backwards AND forwards.
  4. While wiping backwards and forwards, your son will likely laugh should you touch his penis by accident in the process. Yes, it’s totally creepy.
  5. If you’re ever feeling blue about having a boy, you can just grow his hair long and pretend he’s a girl.  I mean, all the celebrities are doing it.
  6. ryder.jpg rene2.jpg

  7. When your husband says he needs a little “guy time” you can just tell him to play with the baby.
  8. A year from now you will likely know the difference between a steam shovel, front bucket loader and bulldozer.  And construction sites will be the “hot” place to hang out.
  9. When little boys get sweaty they emit a scent that smells like a combination of wet dirt, worms and feet. It sounds gross, but I swear after awhile you’ll get used to it and probably even like it.
  10. You’ll love telling your friends your son is a “mama’s boy.” The phrase “mama’s girl” just doesn’t have the same cache.
  11.  Your walls will never look the same again, but I swear one day the stain “pee” will be Pantone’s color of the year.

Congratulations!

Comments

  1. Being an almost (except for Dad) all-female household (including the dog and cat), we’d be thrilled to have a little boy (that is, if we were crazy enough to have another kid, but we’re not going there!). All my girls know about boys is that they yell at the TV (like Dad) and have built-in squirt guns. Congrats to Julie!

  2. Also, little boys are very sweet to their mothers. Well, at least mine is still, so far (he is 19 months).
    And I love that little boy sweat smell!

  3. Congrats Julie!

    Little boys are so wonderful! Cuddly, loving and energetic. They keep you on your toes but you won’t have to worry about mood swings and drama queens :)

  4. Yes, forget the pee-pee teepees and go for the old-fashioned cloth diaper! I never thought to repurpose them as hats, though. Good idea!

  5. Yes! As a mom of four boys I have smelled that wet-dirt-worms smell many times. I always say they smell like puppies when their hair gets wet. And yes, I do wash it! It’s like their natural odor.

  6. Thank you!! I can dig camo or pirate; it’s the never-ending sports themed clothes that induce involuntarily rolls of my eyes – with the exception of extreme sports, like skateboarding and surfing.

    But all the discussion of genitalia is starting to make me feel faint. Freud was wrong; it’s not penis envy, but penis phobia.

  7. Yeah…the scent on the back of a little boy’s neck just makes me cry. My post is up, too. Come check i out.

  8. Yeah, I meant to write something about that too, the fact that there are very few clothing choices for boys. Forget finding great clearance bargains for boys, they’re almost non-existant!

  9. Currently I’m in the phase of dressing my son like a grunge rocker. Flannel shirts over t-shirts. Or the GQ look. Long-sleeve button-downs with a ratty t-shirt over the top, corduroy pants. It’s so much fun. With girl clothes, it’s so obvious how to make them look cute. With boys? You can let your creativity shine.

  10. Pee-Pee Teepees.

    I have officially learned something new today.

  11. Whenever I have to buy a clothing gift for a girl, I’m totally overwhelmed! Boys are so much easier. And everybody tells me that boys require more of your energy up front, but you can relax later when you’re not dealing with the drama of teenage girls!

  12. So totally true!!! I especially like the part of wiping forward and backwards etc… totally true!!! (I dont think boys ever outgrow this!)

  13. Oh yeah, enjoy the baby/toddler years, TRUST ME….just wait til these sweet little boys reach about 13/14 then let’s talk
    LOL…..

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