Congratulations to Julie, who’sÂ having her third child, a boy, very soon! In preparation for her big day, some of her friends are hosting a virtual shower to celebrate the new arrival.Â And they have asked us on the blogosphere who have little boys to give her some advice on what it’s like to rear a kid of the XY kind.
I could see why, after having 2 girls, it might be scary to have a boy.Â Â But if I were Julie, I would think of it as hitting the genetic lottery.Â To ease her fears, though, I’ve compiled this list of things I’ve learned in the last two years about raising a boy:
- Whatever the experts tell you, pee-pee teepees don’t work. You’re better off telling your daughters you got them pretend birthday hats for their dolls instead.
- You will never have to worry about what clothes your boy wears because you reallyÂ only have 2 choices: camouflage orÂ pirate.
- You can wipe backwards AND forwards.
- While wiping backwards and forwards, your son will likely laugh should you touch his penis by accident in the process.Â Yes, it’s totally creepy.
- If you’re ever feeling blue about having a boy, you can just grow his hair long and pretend he’s a girl.Â I mean, all the celebrities are doing it.
- When yourÂ husbandÂ says he needs a littleÂ ”guy time” you can just tell him to play with the baby.
- A yearÂ from now you will likely know the difference between a steam shovel, front bucket loader and bulldozer.Â And construction sites will be the “hot” place to hang out.
- When little boys get sweaty they emit a scent that smells like a combination of wet dirt, worms and feet. It sounds gross, but I swear after awhile you’ll get used to it and probably even like it.
- You’ll love telling your friends your son is a “mama’s boy.” The phrase “mama’s girl” just doesn’t have the same cache.
- Â Your walls will never look the same again, but I swear one day the stain “pee” will be Pantone’s color of the year.