Comments on: Wherein the extended family grills you about work http://www.selfmademom.net/2008/03/09/this-is-why-i-love-extended-family-get-togethers/ Off-Ramped and Unbalanced Tue, 31 Jan 2012 05:00:49 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Robyn http://www.selfmademom.net/2008/03/09/this-is-why-i-love-extended-family-get-togethers/comment-page-1/#comment-1643 Robyn Mon, 10 Mar 2008 19:04:31 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2008/03/09/this-is-why-i-love-extended-family-get-togethers/#comment-1643 I have the flip side. I am the only woman in my extended family that hasn't become a part-timer or a SAHM. All I ever hear is how great so and so is for only having to work 2 days a week or how another is absolutely loving being a SAHM to three kids and couldn't ever imagine working during these years. So I totally relate to feeling lousy. And defensive. And cornered. And ready to nbit. I wish I had a witty come back. I just usually say "Good for you." And then go find the bartender for a re-fill. I have the flip side. I am the only woman in my extended family that hasn’t become a part-timer or a SAHM. All I ever hear is how great so and so is for only having to work 2 days a week or how another is absolutely loving being a SAHM to three kids and couldn’t ever imagine working during these years.

So I totally relate to feeling lousy. And defensive. And cornered. And ready to nbit.

I wish I had a witty come back. I just usually say “Good for you.” And then go find the bartender for a re-fill.

]]> By: J. Fergie http://www.selfmademom.net/2008/03/09/this-is-why-i-love-extended-family-get-togethers/comment-page-1/#comment-1649 J. Fergie Mon, 10 Mar 2008 18:39:08 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2008/03/09/this-is-why-i-love-extended-family-get-togethers/#comment-1649 my eyes glazed over after I read that you have fabulous tory burch boots. knowing that, i cannot feel bad for you being grilled by your family :) my eyes glazed over after I read that you have fabulous tory burch boots. knowing that, i cannot feel bad for you being grilled by your family :)

]]> By: Marcie http://www.selfmademom.net/2008/03/09/this-is-why-i-love-extended-family-get-togethers/comment-page-1/#comment-1647 Marcie Mon, 10 Mar 2008 17:12:35 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2008/03/09/this-is-why-i-love-extended-family-get-togethers/#comment-1647 Maybe your cousin-in-law had had the bulk of the Pinot already. :) I get squirmy when the person I'm talking to tells me how great his or her life is. Maybe your cousin-in-law had had the bulk of the Pinot already. :) I get squirmy when the person I’m talking to tells me how great his or her life is.

]]> By: Jen http://www.selfmademom.net/2008/03/09/this-is-why-i-love-extended-family-get-togethers/comment-page-1/#comment-1648 Jen Mon, 10 Mar 2008 17:00:09 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2008/03/09/this-is-why-i-love-extended-family-get-togethers/#comment-1648 That was a great post (no, you don't know me...found your blog a few weeks ago...) I must confess that I have not even told my in-laws that I left my job (on a sabbatical) and may not return to it. Not the best long term solution! I'm sure my kids will tell them when they see them...but hopefully I'll be able to handle the whole thing without being defensive. That was a great post (no, you don’t know me…found your blog a few weeks ago…) I must confess that I have not even told my in-laws that I left my job (on a sabbatical) and may not return to it. Not the best long term solution! I’m sure my kids will tell them when they see them…but hopefully I’ll be able to handle the whole thing without being defensive.

]]> By: Emily http://www.selfmademom.net/2008/03/09/this-is-why-i-love-extended-family-get-togethers/comment-page-1/#comment-1644 Emily Mon, 10 Mar 2008 04:37:15 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2008/03/09/this-is-why-i-love-extended-family-get-togethers/#comment-1644 Great post! I need some wine right now and you are tempting me even though it is 12:30 am. Your stepfather-in-law seems to have a very wise perspective on the whole situation. It IS hard to understand what you haven't experienced. I can never be in another mother's shoes because our kids will always be different, our family dynamics will differ, and our working lives would have differed as well. All of those things combined create your "working" situation. Even from one working mom to the next, things are so different, so to compare will never be equal, fair, or right. Why don't we just stop the comparisons and all be ok with the fact that moms are moms no matter whether we work outside the home or stay at home? We are all mothers, first and foremost, and that is what is truly important. Now gimme my Pinot. Great post! I need some wine right now and you are tempting me even though it is 12:30 am. Your stepfather-in-law seems to have a very wise perspective on the whole situation. It IS hard to understand what you haven’t experienced. I can never be in another mother’s shoes because our kids will always be different, our family dynamics will differ, and our working lives would have differed as well. All of those things combined create your “working” situation. Even from one working mom to the next, things are so different, so to compare will never be equal, fair, or right. Why don’t we just stop the comparisons and all be ok with the fact that moms are moms no matter whether we work outside the home or stay at home? We are all mothers, first and foremost, and that is what is truly important. Now gimme my Pinot.

]]> By: Sammi http://www.selfmademom.net/2008/03/09/this-is-why-i-love-extended-family-get-togethers/comment-page-1/#comment-1646 Sammi Mon, 10 Mar 2008 03:54:54 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2008/03/09/this-is-why-i-love-extended-family-get-togethers/#comment-1646 I would just like to let you know that when/if I ever get married and have family...I will be hiring you as my personal life/wife/mother/extended family coach. I would just like to let you know that when/if I ever get married and have family…I will be hiring you as my personal life/wife/mother/extended family coach.

]]> By: GHD http://www.selfmademom.net/2008/03/09/this-is-why-i-love-extended-family-get-togethers/comment-page-1/#comment-1650 GHD Mon, 10 Mar 2008 01:49:56 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2008/03/09/this-is-why-i-love-extended-family-get-togethers/#comment-1650 Oh, my! I can't even tell you how choked up/tongue-tied I get when faced with that same line of interrogation. Honestly, there's isn't a simple answer (or at least one that I've found.) Oh my goodness, do I wish there was, though... I'd probably consume less wine. (hehe) Like you, I tend to be defensive and come up with some overly-detailed, rehearsed monologue. when it really should be as simple as "I love it. Thanks for asking". Oh, my! I can’t even tell you how choked up/tongue-tied I get when faced with that same line of interrogation. Honestly, there’s isn’t a simple answer (or at least one that I’ve found.) Oh my goodness, do I wish there was, though… I’d probably consume less wine. (hehe) Like you, I tend to be defensive and come up with some overly-detailed, rehearsed monologue. when it really should be as simple as “I love it. Thanks for asking”.

]]> By: Amy@UWM http://www.selfmademom.net/2008/03/09/this-is-why-i-love-extended-family-get-togethers/comment-page-1/#comment-1645 Amy@UWM Mon, 10 Mar 2008 01:09:26 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2008/03/09/this-is-why-i-love-extended-family-get-togethers/#comment-1645 Here's my theory. There are no right answers. There are no easy answers. Yet, we we're always searching for the "right" answer that makes our lives nirvana and maybe, just maybe we just haven't quite found it yet. Therefore we question whatever choice we make for ourselves and are fascinated by the choices others make. Yes, answering that question will always be part of your life. Just like my SAHM girlfriend grilling me last night at a party about my choices as a working mom will always be a part of mine. Here’s my theory. There are no right answers. There are no easy answers. Yet, we we’re always searching for the “right” answer that makes our lives nirvana and maybe, just maybe we just haven’t quite found it yet. Therefore we question whatever choice we make for ourselves and are fascinated by the choices others make. Yes, answering that question will always be part of your life. Just like my SAHM girlfriend grilling me last night at a party about my choices as a working mom will always be a part of mine.

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