Comments on: Torn http://www.selfmademom.net/2008/04/17/torn/ Off-Ramped and Unbalanced Tue, 31 Jan 2012 05:00:49 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Jenny http://www.selfmademom.net/2008/04/17/torn/comment-page-1/#comment-1776 Jenny Thu, 24 Apr 2008 19:32:02 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2008/04/17/torn/#comment-1776 Emily, first of all, congrats on getting an assignment from Chicago Parent. I just wrote something for them for the first time and they were great to work with. I got back into freelance writing when my oldest was in kindergarten and my youngest was 2. At times, it was Very hard, to say the least. I didn't take on more than I felt I could, so that helped a ton! My advice is, if finances are not an issue, to get back into writing gradually. You may feel like you need to force yourself to do projects, but don't. You may even be surprised to find that if you take time for yourself, you will get inspiration from places you may not have thought of. Oh, and I'm all for sitting on the couch when children nap (not that mine do anymore!) The Hills, Top Chif reruns, Project Runway, those Home and Garden network shows---whatever's on while they're napping is ALL good. Don't be so hard on yourself! Emily, first of all, congrats on getting an assignment from Chicago Parent. I just wrote something for them for the first time and they were great to work with.

I got back into freelance writing when my oldest was in kindergarten and my youngest was 2. At times, it was Very hard, to say the least. I didn’t take on more than I felt I could, so that helped a ton! My advice is, if finances are not an issue, to get back into writing gradually. You may feel like you need to force yourself to do projects, but don’t. You may even be surprised to find that if you take time for yourself, you will get inspiration from places you may not have thought of.

Oh, and I’m all for sitting on the couch when children nap (not that mine do anymore!) The Hills, Top Chif reruns, Project Runway, those Home and Garden network shows—whatever’s on while they’re napping is ALL good. Don’t be so hard on yourself!

]]> By: selfmademom http://www.selfmademom.net/2008/04/17/torn/comment-page-1/#comment-1770 selfmademom Sun, 20 Apr 2008 00:50:41 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2008/04/17/torn/#comment-1770 Yes, Emily, it's the making my own decisions part that always gets me flummoxed. Yes, Emily, it’s the making my own decisions part that always gets me flummoxed.

]]> By: Emily http://www.selfmademom.net/2008/04/17/torn/comment-page-1/#comment-1765 Emily Sat, 19 Apr 2008 16:59:04 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2008/04/17/torn/#comment-1765 Just because other people told you that you can "do a little work on the side" to keep your feet wet doesn't mean you actually HAVE to do that! I went from singing 6 hours a day while teaching high schoolers to singing once a week in my church choir. Sure, that keeps my "feet wet," but there are definitely weeks when just having to go to practice and make that time commitment is difficult for me. When you have been playing with a toddler all morning, you just want to sit during naps, not run around mopping the floor and writing articles. If deep down you don't really want to do the work, then don't! If you think that later in life it will really help for you to continue with some work, then go for it. The way I look at it, there are always going to be things we don't want to do in life, but we know are good for us. Whether you don't really want to give up work or you don't really want to do the work is for you to decide! Just because other people told you that you can “do a little work on the side” to keep your feet wet doesn’t mean you actually HAVE to do that! I went from singing 6 hours a day while teaching high schoolers to singing once a week in my church choir. Sure, that keeps my “feet wet,” but there are definitely weeks when just having to go to practice and make that time commitment is difficult for me. When you have been playing with a toddler all morning, you just want to sit during naps, not run around mopping the floor and writing articles. If deep down you don’t really want to do the work, then don’t! If you think that later in life it will really help for you to continue with some work, then go for it. The way I look at it, there are always going to be things we don’t want to do in life, but we know are good for us. Whether you don’t really want to give up work or you don’t really want to do the work is for you to decide!

]]> By: GHD http://www.selfmademom.net/2008/04/17/torn/comment-page-1/#comment-1774 GHD Sat, 19 Apr 2008 15:10:41 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2008/04/17/torn/#comment-1774 I can relate, too. Look at it this way, you haven't been a SAHM for very long. I say, let it sink in for a little while longer. Find your groove. Enjoy your time, and dig in when the time feels a little more right :-) I can relate, too. Look at it this way, you haven’t been a SAHM for very long. I say, let it sink in for a little while longer. Find your groove. Enjoy your time, and dig in when the time feels a little more right :-)

]]> By: Sue http://www.selfmademom.net/2008/04/17/torn/comment-page-1/#comment-1773 Sue Sat, 19 Apr 2008 03:56:39 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2008/04/17/torn/#comment-1773 I can totally relate. I can totally relate.

]]> By: Kate http://www.selfmademom.net/2008/04/17/torn/comment-page-1/#comment-1772 Kate Fri, 18 Apr 2008 16:06:36 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2008/04/17/torn/#comment-1772 another unsolicited opinion: I tend to agree with Allison. Tell me if I'm wrong on this take, but it sounds to me like you're sometimes deciding what to do based on what you think you're "supposed to do" instead of based on what you personally actually want to do or think is important to do. I'm not even sure who makes us feel the "supposed to" part, but hopefully you know what I mean. It's hard to ignore outside influences, but sometimes you should. I think we'd all be a lot happier and more chill if each person could just do the SAHM, or the working thing, or some of both based on her own needs or wants, without worrying about what anyone else thinks. (A tall, tall order, I know, but I really do strive to focus on that in my own life so as not to fall prey to this "mommy guilt" thing that seems to plague a lot of mamas!) Whew! Sorry that got so wordy! another unsolicited opinion: I tend to agree with Allison.
Tell me if I’m wrong on this take, but it sounds to me like you’re
sometimes deciding what to do based on what you think you’re
“supposed to do” instead of based on what you personally actually
want to do or think is important to do. I’m not even sure who makes
us feel the “supposed to” part, but hopefully you know what I mean.
It’s hard to ignore outside influences, but sometimes you should.
I think we’d all be a lot happier and more chill if each person could
just do the SAHM, or the working thing, or some of both based on her
own needs or wants, without worrying about what anyone else thinks.
(A tall, tall order, I know, but I really do strive to focus on
that in my own life so as not to fall prey to this “mommy guilt”
thing that seems to plague a lot of mamas!) Whew! Sorry that got
so wordy!

]]> By: caitlin http://www.selfmademom.net/2008/04/17/torn/comment-page-1/#comment-1768 caitlin Fri, 18 Apr 2008 14:03:51 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2008/04/17/torn/#comment-1768 Yeah . . I hear you on this. My husband wanted to sit and have a glass of wine last night and I told him that I couldn't because I needed to finish my suncatcher project for the June issue. Something is wrong when you turn down hanging out with your husband to do children's crafts -- without your children. Yeah . . I hear you on this. My husband wanted to sit and have a glass of wine last night and I told him that I couldn’t because I needed to finish my suncatcher project for the June issue. Something is wrong when you turn down hanging out with your husband to do children’s crafts — without your children.

]]> By: Jamie http://www.selfmademom.net/2008/04/17/torn/comment-page-1/#comment-1771 Jamie Fri, 18 Apr 2008 08:44:25 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2008/04/17/torn/#comment-1771 I like Allison's thinking. I also agree with Susan. It's tough to get excited about things we "have" to do. Unfortunately as big people, that seems like all that is on our plates! I like Allison’s thinking. I also agree with Susan. It’s tough to get excited about things we “have” to do. Unfortunately as big people, that seems like all that is on our plates!

]]> By: Allison http://www.selfmademom.net/2008/04/17/torn/comment-page-1/#comment-1769 Allison Fri, 18 Apr 2008 00:32:40 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2008/04/17/torn/#comment-1769 ok - here's my unsolicited opinion. if you're not secretly aching to do the article ... don't do it. take a few years off. do the blog and hop back in when it makes more sense to you. the worst feeling in the world is to half-butt both when you really don't have to -- right? ok – here’s my unsolicited opinion. if you’re not secretly
aching to do the article … don’t do it.
take a few years off. do the blog and hop back
in when it makes more sense to you. the worst
feeling in the world is to half-butt both when
you really don’t have to — right?

]]> By: Susan http://www.selfmademom.net/2008/04/17/torn/comment-page-1/#comment-1766 Susan Thu, 17 Apr 2008 20:52:23 +0000 http://selfmademom.net/2008/04/17/torn/#comment-1766 If it makes you feel better, I don't like doing anything I "have" to do. No matter what it is. But then I do it anyway, and I feel glad (usually) that I did it. And the cycle continues ad nauseum. If it makes you feel better, I don’t like doing anything I “have” to do. No matter what it is. But then I do it anyway, and I feel glad (usually) that I did it. And the cycle continues ad nauseum.

]]>