No matter where I go, people inevitably ask me what I do or if I work. They ask me at the doctor’s office, in the grocery store, at fancy dinners and during playgroups. I don’t fault people for wondering such things. We, as humans are a curious bunch, and moms ever so much more. Everyone wants to know what everyone else is doing. If Sally works and loves it and Susie stays at home and is bored, Mona is glad that she is working. There’s comfort and safety in numbers.
Now that I’m off-ramped, I’m not entirely comfortable with my non-working status. I don’t really have much safety in numbers. I love not working, but I hate answering the “what do you do?” question. Telling everyone that I quit my job in January is going to start getting old soon. And ever since the mommy blogging panel, I’ve been thinking a lot about what Traveling Mom said: write about your life and transition to not working. Your stories are funny and people will want to hear it. A friend of mine echoed that when I saw her Friday night. She’s going back to work, and is dealing with those hosts of issues. No matter your status there’s always a conversation to be had. Working vs. not working. Leaving your job vs. getting a new one. No decision is easy and all of them are personal.
But it’s hard for me to be entirely honest about my status as SAHM or non working mom or whatever.  In my world, if I talk to Sally, I’m jealous, but I don’t mind the boredom that Susie complains about. I never want to admit that I’m a full time mom. My answer is, well, yeah, I stay at home but I’m doing “little things.” Like I have to justify the argument that running to Target two times a week isn’t considered a “little thing.”
When I was chatting with the friend who’s going back to work about her change in status, we both agreed that while we love the $10.99 shoes and $12 frames, there is something inherently unfulfilling to us about filling our days with returning baby gifts. And, in the last week, I’ve been asked to work on various new projects, some paid, some not. I think part of me is ready to move on from watching “The Hills” during naptime. Like all humans, I’m curious to see what’s out there for me in my new, post-corporate life.
I think it’s the six-month itch of the off-ramped. Month one and two of not working, and you feel free as a bird. By month three you actually start paying attention to the world around you. Month four, and you’ve actually started regularly checking your emails again. Month five and maybe you’ve actually done a small project. Now I’m in month six and I think I might be ready for more.
I can’t wait to see what month seven might bring.
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Thanks for sharing this. Incredibly helpful to those of us currently working, but constantly re-evaluating. Sounds like you’ve got a good attitude — nothing’s permanent and anything’s possible. Have you ever considered answering the “What do you do?” question with “I’m a mom.”? It is, after all, the hardest and most important job there is. Now that I think about it, I’m going to start answering that question that way since being a mom is my primary job.
I can’t wait to see what is in store for you too. I’m sure you’re gonna rawk no matter what.
I have to admit that when you first left your job my first thought was, “well there goes another blog I was enjoying reading”. And no offense to the SAHM bloggers, but it isn’t normally what I read since it just isn’t my life. I often have a hard time relating.
I hope it says something that after 6 months I am still here reading and looking forward to your new posts.
I asked a woman what she did once (long before I had kids) and she told me she was a “domestic goddess”. I loved it.
Susan Wagner once said she fills in “occupation” things with “dilettante,” and I thought that was brilliant.
found you through Twitter — and I struggled with this same thing a bit when I went off ramp. I think that’s why I spent so much blood, sweat and tears building a freelance writing career — to justify to myself what my purpose was. Sad, isn’t it that we can’t be proud to just say take care of kids.
Anyway, I’m on-ramping in August … will be interesting!
This is where I would officially like to insert a “told ya so”
A little time to transition and you are finding your footing.
I think its absolutely terrible that we have to justify our position of wanting to stay home and raise our kids instead of palming their little hearts and minds off to strangers in daycare.
However if its easier than arguing your point to complete ignoramuses every day, get yourself a business name and a business card, and just hand them one. You now work from home – doesn’t mean you take more clients though – you are (ahem) overloaded already!
Society is raising a generation of latch key kids that end up drug or alchohol dependent, and still people don’t get the picture that our kids need us, and love and consistency. It makes me mad!
Sincerely
From a person recently in your same shoes, you’re not alone. Even though I feel happier & proud to be at home with my kids. The question haunts me. I guess it’s because I feel as if I lost a part of my own identity. After working so hard to attain your career, saying goodbye is difficult. It leaves you with a a bit of an identity crisis.