Comments on: And the mommy wars debate carries on…

By: D-List Mom Bloggers, Unite! » You know you’re a D-list Mom Blogger if…

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 18:25:16 +0000

[...] 5. You realize that controversy drives page views, but you’re too busy being a WOHM/SAHM/WAHM to stir to proverbial pot. [...]

By: Dana

Dana — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 13:34:35 +0000

Honestly, it’s like a contagious disease, this Mommy Wars issue. I’m thinking it’s time we all put away our claws and just accept each other and support each other. It angers me that this is such a difficult thing to do.

Thanks for writing this, I’m glad I had the chance to read your article.

By: Alex Elliot

Alex Elliot — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 22:01:39 +0000

I’ve found now that I’ve been a parent for a grand total of 5 and a half years that I know look at a lot of this and think “why does anyone else care what I do?” Really and truly why do my choices matter to anyone else.

By: Robyn

Robyn — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 14:48:46 +0000

Personally, I love to judge everyone.

Seriously, I think Kate is onto something. I could never be a chemist – I hated chemistry, hated experiments, hated it all.
In the same respect, it would really be hard for me to be a SAHM. Not because I hate my kid, but because I’m just not cut out for it. It is what it is. If someone wants to judge me, fine. When my son was born, I didn’t have a choice to not work. Five years later, we still couldn’t afford for me to not work at all, but we could certainly afford part-time. I’ve been struggling with making a decision there.

By: Kate

Kate — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 21:27:08 +0000

This supposed “war” seems to rage on stronger on the internet, in written words (or videos, as the case may be) more so than in my real life, I guess. I work outside the home but certainly feel like the common bonds of motherhood unite me with my SAHM friends more than any differences set us apart.
I think the whole thing just goes to show how prone to mommy guilt most moms are, which is too bad. I work outside the home but do not feel horribly guilty about it, any more than most men who work outside the home do, anyway. I mean, sure, there are days we’d all wish we were at home with our kids instead of working, but I don’t think most dads spend their days bowled over with guilty. Now, I don’t know if this means that I’m just a lucky duck that somehow didn’t inherit enough of the guilty gene, or if I’m full of it and should prepare myself for an onslaught of guilt that will be coming my way when my child gets a little older!
Couple of other thoughts:
1) I wish everyone (sorry – exaggeration — I mean to say “a lot of people”) didn’t feel like they have to defend their choices on this subject along the lines of “I HAVE NO CHOICE!” While I respect the fact that that is true for many people, and certainly sympathize, I think I’m in a (apparently rare) minority of people that actually DO have a real choice. And so far, I’ve chosen working outside the home. I do not think I should have to feel bad about working outside the home if I’m not able to say, “this is the only way that my family can make it.” KWIM?
2) Why is it that I can say to my accountant friend, “Wow, I had to go to an accounting training, and man, I don’t think I could ever be an accountant!” And she can take this without being insulted. In fact, she can in some ways take it as a compliment – that I am not cut out for the work that she can handle. Generally, people accept that not everyone can be an astronaut/chef/doctor/you name it. Yet, when someone says, “I could never leave my baby and work outside the home full time!” or, “I know I could not do the full time SAHM thing,” it is so often taken as a slam on that lifestyle? I don’t think it has to be seen that way. More just an acknowledgement of “different strokes for different folks.” (Back to the video: I kind of think that Maggie’s comment about “5 hours of trucks” could be viewed this way — not as a slam on SAHM’s, but as a sign of respect for some of the tougher moments of being a SAHM. I would hope and assume that she did not intend it to imply that her belief is that this is what all SAHM’s do all day everyday.

Whew! Sorry for the long comment! Slow day at work, I guess!

By: Zoot

Zoot — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 19:00:16 +0000

I’m all for virtual hugs…but I prefer donuts! So I bring both!

By: selfmademom

selfmademom — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 18:54:06 +0000

Zoot- I don’t know you well, but I would never want to misconstrue what you meant in your blog. Thanks for clarifying. Let’s all give some virtual hugs now. That’s what I intended!

By: misszoot.com » We Pause The Design Testing For One Clarification

misszoot.com » We Pause The Design Testing For One Clarification — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 18:44:42 +0000

[...] just feel like I have to clarify because some how my entry got used here as some sort of “Stop The Mommy Wars!” post and dude – that is NOT what I intended. [...]

By: Zoot

Zoot — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 18:35:28 +0000

I am really sorry if you think I started a Mommy war but if you’ll read my entry you’ll see that’s not what I said at all. I freelanced for awhile. I was a SAHM for awhile. I was just pointing out that the video didn’t offer any contribution from mom’s who work outside the home. Please, please, PLEASE don’t think I think one is harder. You can ask any reader of my blog…I work outside the home b/c working FROM home is too hard for me.

By: Jill

Jill — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 16:21:05 +0000

Holy cow, can’t we all just get along. Really all that matters is that people can live with their own situation and their kids are taken care of, safe and happy! I was always told don’t criticize until you have walked a mile in their shoes No one really knows what anyone else is going through or how hard or easy it is for them.