From the category archives:

Career Advancement

On starting a start up…

by selfmademom on November 20, 2011 · 1 comment

Emily had a great idea for me whenever I get into a writer’s block here: that I should talk about what it’s been like starting a company as a mom, and as… well… just what it’s been like.

It’s a great idea. Every day I’m living and breathing the growth, success and viability of the company I co-founded with Caitlin, 2 Moms Media. What started on a whim has grown to my half of a full-time, flexible job with clients, conference calls, meetings, stress, fun, late nights, early mornings, and most of all, fulfillment.

Luckily, I have the financial backing of my husband to see if this little experiment in being a business owner works. Luckily, I have in Caitlin a terrific business partner and friend who I can’t imagine doing this without. Luckily, my kids have adjusted to my work schedule. I try to do most things during the day when my eldest is at school, and to not miss too many bedtime routines.

But, starting this little (very little) startup hasn’t been all easy peasy. There have been weeks where the mom guilt of years past has reared its ugly head or when I’ve served the kids mac and cheese for the fourth night in a row or I just really needed to take that conference call from the bleachers during the tennis lesson. I have made school pick up. I have missed school pick up and sent my son home exhausted with a friend to buy me another hour of work time.

There are times where I feel that I’m not doing enough for the business. Not enough networking, not enough meetings, not enough WORK.

Still, three years later, it’s the same issues, the same debate, the same feelings. Guess that’s because, at the core, not much has changed. I’m still the same person; I still believe you have to do what makes you happy with your career, your kids, your husband – to the extent that you can afford to and have the ability to do it. In my world, even in my back to part-time working world, motherhood will always be my job #1. Ok, after that last email gets sent in the carpool line.

 

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In the stream

by selfmademom on September 25, 2011 · 1 comment

My dad always had a saying, “Once you’re in the stream, you’re golden.” Meaning, if you want to be networking and doing, and working, you have to get in the proverbial stream of fish, and go…

I’m obviously my father’s daughter. When I see a chance to jump in, if I can, I will. This weekend I jumped into She Streams, a conference leading women and brands into the future of social technology. I was asked to speak on a panel about finding success from your passions with the amazing Mojo Coach Debi Silber and the incredible Angela Santomero, also known as the creator of Blues Clues, Super Why, and the forthcoming new take on Mr. Rogers, Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. And me.

Before our session, which concluded the break out sessions for the day, I attended yesterday’s terrific keynote speech from Build-A-Bear founder Maxine Clark and a good talk on branding with my new idol, Luxury Travel Mom and the go-getter Go Mom. Had a terrific post-lunch chat with the CEO of Macaroni Kid (boy is that woman smart!) and got great advice from Audrey McClelland and Maria Bailey herself about videocasting (it’s what we should all be doing, apparently.) And, I was labeled by one attendee of our session as “that marketing woman in the red blazer.” (It was in a good way.)

Me and my passion posse.

Mostly, I learned that it’s good to go out to conferences like this and see people and remember that you’re part of the school of fish.

Other key learnings from She Streams:

1) If you’re not doing video for your content, you’re missing the boat. What blogging was 3 years ago, video is now. So, if you feel like you are camera-savvy, hop on that train!

2) Bloggers want money. I don’t really know how to couch this any other way. The debates are ongoing, but the experts keep telling the bloggers – you are worth something, so ask for it. As I’ve said before on other blogs, I agree with this — to an extent. I don’t think every blog or blog post or tweet or what have you is worth the same amount of money. Sometimes I think product should be worth enough, if the product matches what you talk about on your site. But look for money to continue ruling the conversation between brands and bloggers in the days/ weeks/ months to come.

3) There’s no substitution for in-person or face-to-face communications. In my prior life I would coach corporate execs on this very thing – it’s important to see your employees in person every once in awhile. Same with my blogging and marketing co-horts. Best part of going to these conferences, again, is talking to people in the flesh. Much less snarky and more fun than on twitter.

4) Let’s remember to be supportive of each other. Too many times, I think we, as moms, worry about the backstabbing and the superiority factor. In my short talk, someone came up to me afterwards and thanked me for being honest that I have a lot of support to help do what I do and to make my career and beautiful life happen. She felt that we, as moms, sometimes put up the facade that we can “do it all.” I told her you’ll never get that from me – so let’s try to be as real as we can be…

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I’ve debated this topic with my father, a physician, for over eight years now. He, an old-school doctor, established in his field, has always had a beef about women in medicine – that it’s not fair for them to take spots in medical schools and residencies, if only years later, they are to exit the workforce, or, work part-time.

As his strong-willed, feminist and outspoken daughter, I could not believe what I heard my progressive father say. He, who told me to always “be my own boss.” He, who always told me not to ever have to rely on anyone else “but myself.” He, who supported my every career move. How could he say these words?

Well, you can imagine my astonishment today when I read this Editorial piece in the New York Times called “Don’t Quit Your Day Job,” and written by a female anesthesiologist, Karen Sibert. The premise of her argument is that part-time medical work (the majority of which is taken by women) is bad for medicine because it’s hard for patients, hard financially on the institutions that provide the female doctors’ education and ultimately, bad for the industry because of the so few residency positions available to many hard working and educated young med students.

An excerpt from Sibert’s piece reads:

Students who aspire to go to medical school should think about the consequences if they decide to work part time or leave clinical medicine. It’s fair to ask them — women especially — to consider the conflicting demands that medicine and parenthood make before they accept (and deny to others) sought-after positions in medical school and residency. They must understand that medical education is a privilege, not an entitlement, and it confers a real moral obligation to serve.

She goes on:

You can’t have it all. I never took cupcakes to my children’s homerooms or drove carpool, but I read a lot of bedtime stories and made it to soccer games and school plays. I’ve ridden roller coasters with my son, danced at my oldest daughter’s wedding and rocked my first grandson to sleep. Along the way, I’ve worked full days and many nights, and brought a lot of very sick patients through long, difficult operations.

Patients need doctors to take care of them. Medicine shouldn’t be a part-time interest to be set aside if it becomes inconvenient; it deserves to be a life’s work.

When I read it the first thing my competitive-self thought was, “damn, my father is now validated.”

But I have to think further about it before I really will concede too much ground. I don’t know the ins and outs of residency programs and med school applications and the finances behind Medicare. But, what I do know are my friends, who are doctors, some who work part-time and some who do not, and whether or not our medical world would be better off without them, regardless of their schedule, and their present commitment to their causes.

And the answer is no. I don’t know what the ramifications of women in the medical field will be down the road when I’m old, or g-d forbid, sick. But I can’t imagine that one woman’s choice to stay home with her children more would really impact the big picture of the care I’m getting at any particular moment. And I can’t imagine a world where the caring, thoughtful, smart and dedicated doctor friends of mine are not practicing because of the inflexibility of systems, procedures and old-school rules reinforced by Congress.

I’m not sure if Siber is an anti-feminist. I don’t know if she comes from the old-school world of medicine like my dad, but I appreciate her words. However, in the facile world I live in, I just don’t agree with them.

What say you? Can female doctors work part time, and do it well?

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Women are constantly trying to get out from behind a man’s success be it in the business world or beyond, but what about when the great success of the family is the woman?

That’s why I loved this piece in yesterday’s New York Times about Debbie Wasserman Schultz, the soon-to-be chair of the Democratic National Committee. She not only kicks butt as a Congresswoman, but also as a mother. And she gives due credit to where much of it is clearly due — to her husband. Wasserman says in the article:

“I promote that you don’t have to choose between work and family.” But, she adds, “I married a great guy.”

He’s apparently so great that he doesn’t even need hired help around the house when she’s off in Washington working. Unreal!

It’s refreshing when I read accounts of women who are uber-successful in their professional life cop to the fact that they have a husband at home bearing the weight of child care or personal responsibilities. I keep thinking all those awesome working moms I meet are somehow making it all happen on their own (FWIW Design Mom says Ben Blair does his half – love it!).

So a big thanks to Ms. Schultz for being so forthcoming to all us curious bystanders about how she gets it done.

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Paying to work

by selfmademom on April 20, 2011 · 5 comments

I’m at the precipice in my new career where I’m too busy to not be working until 11 pm every night, but not busy enough that I can afford more help so that I’m not working until 11 pm at night.

I’m paying to work. The cost of my childcare is just being covered by the revenue I’m generating.

And that’s before taxes.

This is how I think life is going to be as a quasi-consultant until my kids go to school full-time. You mean you thought I was raking in the dough? You thought wrong.

I’m finding that while it’s mentally challenging/ enjoyable, exhilarating, dramatic, funny and cathartic to be working, it’s not exactly lucrative. But little are the options for the stay-at-home-turned-semi-employed-freelancer.

How do you all do it? Are your kids just running around like mad while you’re fielding calls? Are you that efficient during nap time? Do you pull all-nighters like Janice? Do you fake it til you make it? Please tell me if you’ve figured it out.

I found an old blog post of mine about how part-time work is the devil. Ouch. I do see it’s ghoulish qualities, but now that I’m purportedly my own boss, I see the benefits too. Hey, I’m packing it up and high-tailing it to NYC tomorrow.

Which just means I’ll be up to my ears when I get back.

I’m gonna pay for this gig I got either way.

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Kim Clijsters is my hero

by selfmademom on January 31, 2011 · 1 comment

Kim Clijsters is my new-ish hero. It’s not the first time I’ve written about her on this blog before. The first time I mentioned her was when New York Times author Selena Roberts took her to task for “opting out” of tennis at the young age of 23.

I bet Roberts is eating her words now.

Clijsters just won her FOURTH Grand Slam last weekend — the Australian Open — in Melbourne last weekend. She won her second — the U.S. Open — after taking the last 2.5 years off to birth and raise her daughter. And won another U.S. Open last year.

How’s that for opting back in? I hope my re-entry into the workforce is one-bazillionth as successful.

And what did she credit for her stirring “comeback” to tennis?

Why, the maturity she feels she has now that she’s a mother. I heard her say that on TV too.

It’s scary to opt-out of the workforce for whatever reason – injury, age, kids, whatever. And it’s equally as scary to opt back in not knowing what challenges might lie ahead. But I get what Clijsters is feeling. In some ways, taking the time off (if you’re lucky enough to be able to do so) only to go back in gives you the drive and insights you might not have had otherwise.

I’m a firm believer that having children has only helped my career, not hindered it. I may not have won any Opens, but knowing I have those little (and one big) dudes to come home to every night makes me feel like a champion.

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The not-really-working-yet-working mom’s guilt

January 13, 2011

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted just what I’m going to do with my career, or, lack thereof. See, this past Fall I decided I wanted to go back to “work.” But “work” when you don’t have to “work” for a living has many definitions. I thought I wanted a real job in a real [...]

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The project that “grew” on me. Growing the modern organic family.

November 7, 2010

It all started over the summer at the Not BlogHer event when Caitlin and I were discussing our current projects. Just so happened we had some crossover in meeting Deree Kobets, the owner of grow modern boutique in Wicker Park. The conversation was casual but purposeful, “wouldn’t you love to do something with her?” “Yeah.” [...]

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It’s a mad mad mad mad networking world

October 13, 2010

I’ve been doing it so subtlety even I didn’t realize what I was doing until I made the pronouncement last week while at dinner with my husband, my MIL and her husband. I’m looking for a job. Not a half-job (although it’s a nice half-job), but like a job where someone might hire me for [...]

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My “half” job

September 27, 2010

I was kind of excited to see my mug in the October issue of Chicago Parent alongside my fellow friends Caitlin and Meredith. So excited that I actually divulged to my eldest that “this is what mommy is doing when she says she has ‘work.’” Me and my “coworkers.” He flipped through the magazine and [...]

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